Junebug « Philly Expatriate

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Junebug

Partly out of superstition, partly out of my own kookiness, I have decided not to give this fetus a "real " name but rather a non-gender-specific pet name of sorts so as not to have to refer to "it" all the time. As I pulled into the hospital parking lot, seemingly out of nowhere it came to me: "Junebug" I also wanted to be able to smile when I think of him/her even though "Junebug's" situation looks pretty grave.

There is a cystic hygroma enveloping the entire body of the fetus - so at this stage the two possible outcomes are 1.) the hygroma resolves itself and baby goes to full term or 2.) (the more likely option) the hygroma keeps growing and ends in miscarriage/stillbirth.

I am totally ok with this. The lucky thing was that 1.) I did my research and didn't have raised hopes/expectations 2.) I had the absolute SWEETEST OB specialist and genetic counselor spend over an hour talking with me, listening to my questions and concerns and kindly offering any and all information they could.

I will have another level II ultrasound in 3 weeks, and probably an amnio, too, as that may aid in giving a better picture of a fetal "timeline" or possible outcome.

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. It truly means so much to me and aids me tremndously in coping with this unfortunate - but natural - situation.

Junebug is in God's hands now, as the Doc and I agreed that since I am comfortable with "waiting it out", and since my health is no no way compromised by Junebug's conditon, that is the course of action I will take for now.

quick clarification here - when I state "I am ok with this" I meant I have already had my freakout and now I'm, well, not freaking out anymore, but rather I'm just taking care of eveyday business. I'm not implying I'm "happy" with this diganosis but...what can ya' do, you know? Just so no one thinks I'm some sort of saintly martyr - hardly!

Posted at 04:19 pm by brandy101


	Giggles August 2, 2005 05:14 PM PDT Oh sweetheart....I'm so sorry. I will definitely throw a ton of prayers out for you and for Junebug. You are probably the strongest woman that I know. Everything is as it should be. Please please let me know if I can help in any way possible..even if that just means being a shoulder for you to cry on. hugs hugs


	Janine July 29, 2005 12:28 PM PDT Wow, brandy. I'm so sorry. Well done for having your freak-out and still being ok. And feel free to rant and rave to us as much as you want. We'll pray for you and Junebug.


	scott July 28, 2005 11:33 PM PDT Miscarriage is such a terrible thing. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially not you guys. I hope your real community can offer you support if it does go that way. Still, I will pray with faith that the pregnancy goes all the way, and results in a perfect baby...


	Raejane July 28, 2005 07:22 PM PDT huge hugs I wish I knew what to say. I always hear that things happen for a reason and good is supposed to come from everything.. but boy, it's tough to even think that when something so unfair happens. I'm glad you are "ok" with it... know I'll be thinking of you and Junebug!!


	chrysalis July 28, 2005 02:32 PM PDT I'm praying for you and your Junebug. (((hugs)))


	Michelle July 27, 2005 05:27 PM PDT sigh and hugs for you and "junebug" and your family. I agree with AbbyNormal, it IS ok not be OK. While it may be a "natural situaltion" that you have to wait out it doesn't make it any less of a heartache to have to wait. I think you are amazingly strong for the faith and courage you have in dealing with this. My best thoughts are with you.


	brandy101 July 27, 2005 02:33 PM PDT thanks everyone. Prayers are ALWAYS appreciated and reciprocated :)


	Deirdre July 27, 2005 02:00 PM PDT I am sorry to hear that things are quite complicated and uncertain for you right now. I will say a prayer for your family.


	brandy101 July 27, 2005 12:21 PM PDT Thanks, Abby. I think the one thing that makes me feel ALOT better is that I know (online and in r/t) many many women who have had miscarriages, so I know there is a sustantial support system and knowledge base for me to go to if/when I have questions, concerns, etc. I feel like if this does m/c, then its a "natural" thing and part of the cycle of life. Sad, of course, but not rare, or otherwise alienating from the experiences of other women.


	AbbyNormal July 27, 2005 11:40 AM PDT Gosh, Brandy, I'm so sorry. Such a tough situation. My prayers are with you and Junebug. By the way, I've had three miscarriages. It's okay to not be okay for a while, but it is an unfortunate yet natural situation. I'm glad you're in the care of a sensitive doctor.


	Lyly July 27, 2005 03:48 AM PDT I don't know what to say except... that I hope the best for the baby and you and your family. Still not understanding the divine plan, but forced to accept it. {{hugs}}


	Miss Ginger July 26, 2005 07:35 PM PDT Man, oh man. God might have his 'master plan', but it sure doesn't feel good, sometimes. I'll be thinking of you. <--(reminds me, you'd probably know it, too, do you remember the Colour Field song "Thinking of You"? Circa...1985-ish?

Leave a Comment: