Even When You Have Company, Sometimes You Are Alone

Sunday, July 31, 2005

A good friend of mine flew into town Friday for a visit before she starts law school next month. Not only is she my oldest and dearest friend, she is also my daughter's godmother.

I warned her ahead of her visit about the somber mood in the household but we agreed that perhaps some company would be, at the least, a good distraction for everyone.

I got back into meal planning and cooking and whipped up two delicious meals each night with the help of my friend and hubby.

And then last night for "dessert" I snuck into my room, alone, and cried for 45 minutes.

Posted at 09:14 am by brandy101


	melsyslap August 1, 2005 09:38 AM PDT Can I just start by telling you that I know EXACTLY how you feel. My now 6 year old was a plathora of genetic issues that were not to be. I went though genetic counsel,amnio,then later on fetal heart chamber U/S. It was so scary to think that this baby inside me might never be...different from a miscarriage that you have no real control over were the what ifs hanging over our heads at all times.I just was never happy...not even when I forgot for 45 minutes. After 7 months of scaring the crap out of me..she was fine. We were lucky. All of the "If it's not meant to be's..." made me just angry.Don't you just want to scream SHUT THE HELL UP I KNOW THAT!!!! Anyways... Just wanted to let you know I have been there...and even a cry is sometimes only a cry,because nothing can help.(((HUGS)))


	Michelle July 31, 2005 03:00 PM PDT You were right that company can distract you but only for awhile. A good cry was probably a good release. I am sorry you have to be going through all this right now. My heart goes out to you and your family. Remember that no matter what, you are strong, beautiful and CAN handle what is put on your plate even though it may not seem it at times.


	Raejane July 31, 2005 01:32 PM PDT huge hugs I love ya hon!!


	scott July 31, 2005 01:25 PM PDT Tha crappy thing about family problems is that life goes on... we all have to do mundane things like eat and wash, when all we want to do is cry, or stare into space... Hope you are having a few minutes to yourself...


	Miss Ginger July 31, 2005 10:51 AM PDT :(


	Nic July 31, 2005 09:27 AM PDT I think your gender deserves a metal for all that nature puts you through. We (men) watch as your bodies are beaten and battered, by bloat, swelling, hormonal changes due to any number of things, and passively inquire "Is everything OK" Unfortunately there is no way I/we will ever be able to fully understand what you are going through mentally and physically and I am not sure that even another woman (like your friend) can fully appreciate it. Just keep in mind that though we are for the most part clueless, we are aware that you hurt (in all possible ways) and we do care. I know you disappeared and cried by yourself, because you didn't want to do it in public, but maybe you should share your "desert" with others so that they might hold you and make it better.

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