As I figured, baby has a complete AV canal defect plus the likelihood of a Tetrology of Fallot - which requires immediate intervention after birth to put in a shunt to aid the too-small pulmonary artery.

The cardiologist was WONDERFUL and actually, quite positive in that she encouraged me by noting, "These problems are worrisome but we (cardiac surgeons) fix them all the time and get it done well." She must have spent 90 minutes running tests, drawing diagrams to explain everything to me, answering my questions, addressing my concerns. So YAY for the kindly, professional,  smart-as-a-whip pediatric cardiologist.

OK, so his hygroma has resolved (yay!), his kidneys, stomach, spine and skelatal formations all look good...he has these heart defects which are noted as "fixable"... and then I get the big whammy when the final doctor for the day comes in to visit.

He scans my tummy again and rather coldly informs be that the baby has hydrocephaly - fluid in the brain. Friggin' fabulous. He goes on with his discouraging dicourse by noting that a shunt can be put in after birth to drain the fluid if it starts to put pressure on the brain, but that (here is the clincher) in a nutshell, since this baby is already handicapped from an IQ standpoint due to the down syndrome, the hydrocephaly can likely shave off even more IQ points.

Ugh.

NOW I am feeling that "sense of loss and mourning for hte perfect child you won't have" that many parents describe when getting the news of a downs diagnosis. I was kind of excited for the challenge and seeing how far my special  lil' "extra chromosome" guy could reach. I envisioned myself taking him boogie-boarding and shedding a tear at his first game of T-ball, where EVERYONE is cheering for "the special kid."

But now I'm being told that off the bat, he will likely be "more" retarded. My concern, genuinely, is that he could suffer further impairment to the point of never being ambulatory, able to use the bathroom, able to feed himself. I.E. - Nursing home fodder.

I prayed ALOT and very specifically to have the hygroma resolve. The odds were against it and VOILA! It's gone. Hooray. He also had fluid around the heart that has also resolved. I'm gonna use every rosary bead in my Catholic-girl arsenal, every drop of holy water in the font at Church, and every prayer card to focus solely on praying for spontaneous resolution of this brain thang. If it doesn't "work", then no loss...but besides keeping myself healthy (whcih I am doing!) its all I can offer right now in terms of "mothering" him.