Better Living Through Chemicals
I was kinda falling apart yesterday so I called my midwife for some Xanax. I hate "resorting" to pills but apparently my family noted I was being a super-bitch so to spare them my wrath and fury which was misdirected, not to mention to allow myself to get some sleep at night and stop running around the house doing organizing projects, I'm chillin' out as best I can with a "mother's little helper" of sorts.
Jack Elliott's funeral is tomorrow at 2pm. He's being buried at a very well-known Catholic cemetary in their "baby section". Isn't it sad that a cemetary has to HAVE a baby section? *sigh*.
Otherwise I am healing physically. Its going to take time but I guess that's how these things go.
The last great "loss" I had was the sudden death of a beloved but young cat named Betty. I actually had her buried at a pet cemetery and that somehow helped me through the process. I plan to get a lovely grave marker for Elliott (which is what I call him...everyone else calls him "Jack") down the road...
My larger-scale plans are to ready a spot in my backyard with some bulbs and mulch as the beginnings of a memorial garden. We have alot of unused space in our yard so I plan to sketch out some plans for a nice garden, complete with a water feature and little angel/cherub statue. That will take time, planning, and cooperative weather but I think that when I am physicaly cabable of the yardwork, it will be an excellent way for me to express my creativity, love of nature, and of course as means of honoring my lil' guy.
Posted at 12:04 pm by
brandy101
 | Posted by Janine @ 10/25/2005 01:43 PM PDT | |
Sorry I'm only dropping by now, Brandy. I just wanted to tell you that you've been in my thoughts and prayers ever since I heard. Take as much time as you need to heal.
Lots of love from all the Dunlops. |
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| Posted by loz @ 10/25/2005 03:53 AM PDT | |
thinking of you and your family, sending lots of love & healing vibes. I hope you got through the funeral okay, and I hope that it's helped to bring at least some small bit of closure that will help you in your healing & grieving process.
God bless and keep the little one, Jack Elliot. RIP, sweet boy.
l.
x |
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| Posted by esther @ 10/24/2005 08:03 PM PDT | |
Hope today's service helps to begin the healing for your family. You are all in my thoughts.
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| Posted by chrysalis @ 10/24/2005 01:54 PM PDT | |
What a beautiful idea, a memorial garden.
I lit three candles today: for my mother, for Heather, and for Jack Elliott. Hope you don't mind. |
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| Posted by Lyly @ 10/24/2005 12:45 PM PDT | |
| Sending you an email. I'm thinking of you and yours right now as the time draws near. I know that love surrounds him and will do so until you two meet again. |
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| Posted by raejane @ 10/24/2005 09:24 AM PDT | |
My thoughts are with you hon!
*hugs* |
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| Posted by Miss Ginger @ 10/23/2005 03:54 PM PDT | |
Brandy, I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and your family, I hope you're ok through all of this.
Hugs |
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| Posted by Michelle @ 10/23/2005 02:07 PM PDT | |
I agree with Nic. I am sure your family understands and I am sure they are going through their greiving process as well. While I am sure tomorrow will be hard, know that many of us are thinking about you and praying for you.
Physical healing always seems to come faster than the emotional healing. I think the garden will be a beautiful tribute and is a wonderful idea. I cannot wait to see the photos of it next spring.
HUG! |
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| Posted by Nic @ 10/23/2005 01:39 PM PDT | |
I think you are acting normal, there are times when misdirected anger is understood and I imagine your family understands.
In someways (though sad) a baby section makes sense. Some how the idea of a child laying among other children, resting is an image I can deal with.
The garden memorial is also a wonderful idea and tribute. Be well B. |
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| Posted by scott @ 10/23/2005 01:25 PM PDT | |
I have been absent.
So sorry to hear about your loss, Brandy.
I am so much in awe of you guys: you took Jack Elliot as a challenge, and did your very best. You showed integrity throughout this challenging and frightening time. You guys rock. Lots of love, hugs and prayers for you both.
Neen and I are both heartbroken for you. |
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