Spring Break here in our school district ends on Monday. The other day, to get out of the house on the cheap, I planned a "lunch & movie" day for my 8-year-old. We first went to a noticeably CROWDED Culver's  (and btw, they have a pretty good tomato bisque soup for a "fast food" chain.)

I suspected that some, if not all, of the families with multiple kids under 10 had the next-door shopping center on their radar: it housese a second-run theatre offering a $1 matinee of "Alvin & The Chimpunks."

I hustled us through lunch, into the bathroom for a pre-movie tinkle, and then out to the car with what should have been ample time to re-park the car and get tickets,  even find a plum pair ofseats. But as we approached the window all we saw was a line.

We waited our turn patiently, only to learn when it wasour turn, that "Alvin" was SOLD OUT!

I quickly scanned the list of movies showing concurrently. No other "g" ratingswere available, but, there was a "pg." Unfortunately it was "American Treasure: The Sequel That Should Have Never Happened." Knowing my daughter and her tastes, I didn't even bother to ask ifshe wanted to see it. Our other option was 27 Dresses. It was listed on the ticket board as "PG" but when I saw the movie poster, it was actually PG-13.

The ticket agent must have read my indecisiveness about the movie selction for the kiddo and me. "Oh, there is NOTHING bad in it," she assured me.

OK. I turned to my daughter and said, "Don't tell daddy if they say the F-word or if you see someone's butt!"

And with that, we paid our $2 and went in. I did  NOT notice that the flick must have started a good 15 minutes before we got to our seats. But -what the heck-it was only $1.

It was very cute (although I'm probably generous in my review because it was just $1.)

The only bad things (as far as an 8-year-old viewing companion is concerned) were:

• 2 uses of "shit" (I belive both were: "You're shitting me!?")
• 1 "bullshit"
• 1 "ass" (I'm gonna kick your ass!")
• a couple drinking cocktails
• smooching but no ACTUAL on-screen hubba-hubba.

Um, my kid sees/hears that every day AT HOME,so no big whoop!

Now, on the other hand, I do recall WALKING OUT of the PG-rated "Scooby Doo: The Movie" some years ago 1.) because of constant thinly-veiled references to Marijuana:

Shaggy to woman in seat next to him: "What's your name?"
Woman: "Mary Jane."
Shaggy: "Mary Jane?! No way, like, that's like my FAVORITE name!"

2.) there is a scene with Scrappy Doo peeing on Daphne and muttering something like "You don't have the scrote(as in SCROTUM) to do the job!"

and 3.) because it sucked and even the kiddo had lost interest.

WHO the h*ll does these ratings, anyway? Apparently its a bunch of morons.