Why on earth would I think that I could buy jeans - JEANS! - online/via catalog? My size has changed, and even with taking measurements, jeans are one of those things that has to be TRIED ON.
Anyway, in case things do move forward in terms of any surgeries, I am sticking with comfy-but-decent-looking knit pants (velour, cotton, fleece, etc) until I either happen upon some miracle jeans that fit and flatter at the right price, or until I lose weight and fit into some oldies I have stored in my attic.