Our household will be enjoying palm-burning, throat-blessing and dessert-tasting on Sunday...and, no that has nothing to do with Superbowl party plans!

In an unusual confluence of dates, Ash Wednesday occurs next Wednesday, the 6th. Thus, we are to return our blessed palms from last year's Palm Sunday to church this week, where they will be burned and blessed for the ashes for Wednesday's ceremony.

Because people are usually so busy during the week, there is also a bake sale Sunday  with assorted homemade goodies, so we can "fatten up" in a tamer version of a Mardi Gras celebration. And finally, Sunday Feb. 3rd is ALSO St. Blaise Day which means that AFTER Mass there will be ANOTHER ceremony for the traditional blessing of the throats. The gist of the legend is that St. Blaise saved someone who was choking on a fish bone.

So, I'm wondering, if I have my throat blessed prior to ingesting grand quantities of dessert, does that mean all those goodies are calorie-free that day? I also have to fear many tasteless (but, of course, funny) innunedos from my husband having to do with throats and bones and...oh you get the idea!

... you go downstairs to check on her, and find her 8-year-old-bucket parked in what resembles a makeshift coffin (with pillows & blankets for comfort!) while watching a dvd of classic Frankenstein.

Hmm, I should bring home "stale coffee" more often...wonder what would happen if it weren't "free trade" and "organic" as well...



...and is it me, or does her "husband" have a hugely WIDE arse?

A few weeks ago, I was cajoled into ordering a Sunday-only home delivery subscription to the Chicago Tribune while innocently browsing the fine produce at my local supermarket. To be honest, I kept staring that the salesman's beautiful pale-blue cashmere sweater (the quality of it was like nothing I had even seen on a man!) and thus somehow ended up signing away a precious $12.95 a month for the convenience of a driveway-dropoff of a pile of paper & ink.

This morning, I actually looked forward to perusing the paper while sipping coffee. I first browsed the coupons and then hit the usual suspects: front page, Home & Garden, Metro, Tribune magazine and...the Book Section...uh, where was the book section? I rifled through the pile twice more and still couldn't find it. Before cursing my distributor, I did a quick Google search and learned that sometime ago the Trib did away with the Book Section in its Sunday edition, offering a pared-down version of it, tabloid style, in the SATURDAY paper -likely the LEAST-READ edition they print.

WTF?!

I don't understand how PRINT MEDIA decides to eliminate news of PRINT MEDIA...but yet, retain the utterly inane "Q" section: this week's highlights in Q includes a discussion of Lindsay Lohan and the trend of wearing knee socks with tall boots. Oh, and despite prodcing their own magazine, they also include a copy of low-brow "Parade" magazine. [sidebar: I can't help but giggle, thinking of Stewie Griffin reprimanding his future self in disgust: "You read Parade?!?!"]

Except for the value I do find in Metro (local news, obituaries, etc.) I may delete this subscription and go for the New York Times instead.

Last weekend I attended a workshop for "Ministers of Care" (people who take communion to nursing homes, hospitals & the homebound) for the parishes in my area. My church occupied two tables. I was, of course, the youngest person in the entire room by a good twenty years. But I do enjoy the company of Seniors so I was not bothered by that, nor did I feel unwelcome.

The workshop consisted of a talk by a Franciscan Brother and then a sheet listing hypothetical situations that we, as Ministers, could experience while making our rounds. The idea was to read the situation and then discuss our solutions as a table and present to the entire group.

One situation was described as: "You are making rounds in the hospital and run into a neighbor; you learn that their mother is there for a face lift and tummy tuck. You offer to visit her and put her on the prayer list. The family is adamant that you do not do this."

So, our table began to discuss this, and most agreed, "Well if they don't want the prayers then no big whoop!" One woman stated, "You know you can just say a prayer privately becuase even though it is elective, it is still very serious and painful surgery."

I chimed in with my own example, "Yes, just look at what happened to Kanye West's mother."

Blank stares.

I continued, "She went in for a tummy tuck and died on the operating table."

Finally one lady asked, "Kanye who?"

"Who is she talking about," was the growing din around the table.

"He's a rapper from Chicago," I offered. More blank stares.

Finally I noted, "His mother has been on Oprah."

"Ohhhhhh. Ok!" rang the sudden recognition amongst the ladies at the table.

As Greg brady would have stated, "I think we have a generation gap going here."

This morning, I am beginning a yoga class at a center near my home; I have never attended class there before.

I do know they chant at the end (not my favorite, but...) but other than that I'm looking forward to see how the class will be.

follow-up: it was a great but CHALLENGING class. We ended with pranayama exercises, which I actually do like, although I got a bit dizzy after puffing heartily out of my nostrils for 35 counts!

The endocrinologist visit seems to have been a waste of $35 (my copay.)

He suggested that I try to find a clinical study at a local hospital/university on colon pareisis. He denied any chance that its a throid issue.

I have to make some phone calls to fugure out if anyone else (doctor-wise) can help me.

I had nearly finished writing a heartfelt entry about my trip today with my daughter to find a dress and ensemble for her upcoming First Holy Communion. It was wonderful, frustrating, and ultimately rewarding (if not quite expensive.) The punch line: after many try-ons, we found (and bought) a dress, veil and shoes.

But somehow, in my brain fog, I closed the window and lost the entry. It discussed the importance of this day to me and the rest of my Polish-Catholic family. I talked about ancestors, traditions, and lifetime milestones.

But instead of trying to recreate all that good stuff, my colon is barking at me to give an update on its current status.

Apparently, ladies and gentlemen, The Fudge Factory is closed. Or at least it feels that way! I had not mentioned it publicly, but since November I had been having bouts of excrucitating upper-gastric (ie - in my stomach) pain. These "episodes" would last a few hours, and no medicine seemed to help. I would just try to relax and put a heating pad over the painful area. Of course I went to see the doctor right away, but was not offered any solution.

Since they have a glut of patients, my Gastroenterology group made me wait 6 weeks to get an endoscopy to find the source of the problem. I finally got my test results: liver & pancreatic functions are normal (phew!), the H.Pylori biopsy (the bacteria that causes many ulcers) was negative, but the doctor noted, "stomach shows signs of chronic inflammation. Bile was seen in the stomach."

What all this yukky info means is that apparently the lessening activity of my lower gut has now caused such a traffic jam, that bile from my small intestines is surging back up into my stomach. Bile doesn't belong there, causes massive irritation, and can eventually cause stomach tissue malignancies.

Tomorrow I see an endocrinologist to see if in fact a thyroid(or similar)  issue could be holding up the production line. If not, I have no idea what to do next. "Not eating" doesn't seem to work, and a pure clear liquid diet is pretty tough, too. I'm hoping for some good news after tomorrow's visit. Fingers crossed...

So the other day, I walked into our local "ethnic" market to do some shopping. Upon entering the store, I saw a rack of "today's special" on display.

Mmmm, nothing like some juicy, delicious Cok to start the day!


(Thank you to whomever invented the cameraphone; I stealthily snapped this pic because I knew I just had to share it!)

Considering he had my parish, various friends, plus most of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia praying for him,I wasn't completely surprised when I got a phone call today indicating that baby Mark was discharged from the hospital after the EEG and MRI's indicated NO UNUSUAL events/issues with his brain. He is fine!

The two "events" that were witnessed are now being attributed to "acid reflux" (!)

I am 1.) thankful to everyone for their prayers and well-wishing 2.) so glad everything is ok 3.) exhaling now.

:)