A good friend of mine flew into town Friday for a visit before she starts law school next month. Not only is she my oldest and dearest friend, she is also my daughter's godmother.

I warned her ahead of her visit about the somber mood in the household but we agreed that perhaps some company would be, at the least, a good distraction for everyone.

Partly out of superstition, partly out of my own kookiness,  I have decided not to give this fetus a "real " name but rather a non-gender-specific pet name of sorts so as not to have to refer to "it" all the time. As I pulled into the hospital parking lot, seemingly out of nowhere it came to me: "Junebug"  I also wanted to be able to smile when I think of him/her even though "Junebug's" situation looks pretty grave.

I seemed "fine" this morning when I woke up but for the past few hours my stomach has been in knots.

Tomorrow morning I have the perinatologist appt.  I have made the dreadful mistake of reading too many awful stories on the internet and so now I'm a wreck.

Please, PLEASE send a prayer, goodwill, high energy toward my uterus so that the Doc tomorrow can just chuckle and say, "Oh, no problems here! Enjoy the rest of your week."

My fears are not only regarding something amiss fetally but also of having to deal with some kind of confrontation with this doctor (whom I have never met.) I am hoping he's a sensitive person who won't make untoward/callous suggestions, but I have no idea as I've never dealt with him before.

I don't want to be tearful for any reason - medical findings OR the "talk" afterward.

So LYLY tagged me to complete this little quiz-ette.

Ironically its to list 5 things that calm me down(list to follow my rant).

 On Thursday I had a very stressful appt. at the ob/gyne office. They want me to see a perinatologist but the research my husband and I have done indicate that in our circumstances, such a test (level II ultrasound at 13 wks) is pointless and will only add stress and possibly unneeded worry. I am somewhat angry at my healthcare provder for suggesting this as I have told her repeatedly that no matter what "imperfections" may be indicated that I would never terminate. It's my right to "choose" and I CHOOSE to keep my baby, imperfect or not. To suggest that I might want to find out my odds of having a chromosomal abnormality (trisomy 21, turner's syndrome were what was suggested) at this stage in the game is, as I have found, strictly to be able to fit in the window of legal termination. It is not as if anything can be done to help the fetus (unlike the case of later term testing that can indicate health issues that can be addressed so the baby can be helped immediately upon birth as in the case of heart conditions, spina bifida, cleft palate, etc.)

I know that healthcare providers want to offer as much info as possible to both cover their own asses from lawsuits and also to appease those in the populace in their quest for "designer" babies.

How dare ANYONE suggest my lil' fetus is not worthy of being born! That's just my mother bear instinct and I'm sticking with it!

I don't feel that someone who felt differently about their own pregnancy is WRONG for feeling that way. But in our circumstances, we have a loving supportive family, decent income, good health insurance, easy access to excellent healthcare/specialists, and a mom (me) who has already dealt with a child with "special needs" and knows the system fairly well.

My feeling is that stressing out in no way helps my baby, so to ME, I'd rather focus on keeping myself healthy, rested, well-nourished. What's true with grown children is true with unborn babies: "Ain't nobody happy if mom ain't happy!"

Grr....

Calming things for me:

1. rent funny old comedies on video to veg out with
2. got a big box of treats from Spunky Dunkers donuts
3. talking to my parents (especially my dad)
4. sleeping
5. keeping busy with housework

I'm supposedly at 13 weeks today...SUPPOSEDLY all the yukky 1st trimester stuff is waning...so why did I wake up with a slammin' headache and then throw up twice?

Sheesh.

Between periods and THIS shite, I'll tell you, I wanna slap Oscar Hammerstein upside the head for penning "I Enjoy Being a Girl."

Three well-respected Chicago indie-rock musicians were killed this weekend while they were, apparently on their way to lunch during their day-jobs. I used to go to school with one of the victims' bandmates, so this made me really sad, as I know all three guys are not just brilliant musicians/minds, but hardowrking people with familes and many, many friends around the world. Please say a little prayer for them and for our city - as big as it is, its surprising how small the circles we travel in really are once we look around us.

I heard a story from the Tribune read on WGN this morning that, to me, seems worthy of a scene in a National Lampoon movie. The key component of this tale of trickery, which is at once offensive and yet, hilarious in the most sophmoric of ways, is excerpted below and is noted in BOLD print (I added the highlighting). It recalls a political prank executed against then-Democratic Illinois State Treasurer candidate Alan Dixon by none other than Karl Christian Rove. The boys of Delta House would have been proud. Maybe if things don't work out in Washington, Karl could get a gig as a contributor to Ashton Kucher's PUNK'D!

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From The Chicago Tribune
By Mark Silva, Washington Bureau. Tribune political writer Rick Pearson contributed to this report
Published July 14, 2005

One activity that has kept my Dad in great spirits during his long recovery period is birding (birdwatching.) My folks have a fairly sizeable and nicely wooded backyard (i.e. lots of trees - oak, maple, evergeens, etc.) so they get a wonderful array of birds on their feeders. One species has eluded him for many years, despite his best effrts to entice it with oranges, grape jelly, and colorlful fruit feeders.

Yesterday evening, I got a phone call: my Dad, nearly out of breath, thrilled to proclaim that he's finally sighted a Baltimore Oriole in the yard. I was so excited for him, knowing how much he wanted to spy one of these gorgeous, and supposedly plentiful in his geography, birds.

I think it was sent from heaven to give him a little boost after a few days of malaise over some minor physical complaints.

Leave it to the resourceful Brits to find simple and healthy ways to overcome adversity (see article below.) I had to imagine that were an American city plagued with such transportaion crisis, too many folks would either call in sick, work from home (a pretty good idea for office worker types), or complain alot and/or sit in traffic in their idling gas-guzzlers. Way to go, Londoners! 

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Jul 8, 11:27 AM (ET)

LONDON (Reuters) - London's streets creaked and rattled with nervous new cyclists Friday after bicycle sales rocketed in the wake of bomb blasts on three underground trains and a double-decker bus.

Seasoned cyclists told of weary walkers offering them up to 300 pounds ($500) for their bikes as they headed home on Thursday, and of giving impromptu lessons to shaky beginners.

Tim Davies who manages Cycle Surgery near Holborn, said: "the shop is so close to where the bus got hit that we thought we'd be evacuated.

"But by 11 o'clock we were running around like crazy. We'd normally sell five to 10 bikes a day, but we sold at least double that in a few hours.

"We had people who hadn't ridden for over 10 years asking for refresher lessons -- we even had a judge."

Others, who had walked home, dug long-forgotten bikes from sheds and garages for Friday morning's commute. Fernando Gandioli said he noticed "a lot of rusty bikes and squeaky chains" as he cycled in to work at accountancy firm KPMG.

Shop assistant Maja, who works at Evans Cycles near Clerkenwell, said they had sold triple the usual number of bicycles Thursday, mainly folding bikes or cheaper models.

"It was mainly workers and executives," she said. "People who didn't want to waste money on a hotel and said: 'sod it, I'll buy a bike.'"

I call home each day to check on Dad's health status. Yesterday, my mother, seemingly exasperated, muttered, "Oh, this should tell you how he's feeling. Whenever someone comes to visit, hhe has to demonstrate his "parlor trick.""

After a pause, she explained that whether friends or family drop by, Dad corrals them into the bathroom to show them his "trick": he unzips his pants, pulls out the catheter bag and exclaims, "Check out how I pee!" while posing like a greek fountain with the bag streaming neatly into the toilet.

I reassured my mortified mother noting, "Well, he's adding levity to the situation. They do say that people with a sense of humor heal  more quickly."

But what about people with a great LACK of sense of modesty and good manners?!

Now I know where I get it from. Ah dad - what a character he is!