I think I got the H1N1.

I already got a shot (killed vaccine) for *regular* flu, so its not that.

I have:

dry, hacking (painful) cough
sore throat
aches
fatigue

CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am wondering if I need to wean myself from fall sports: post-season baseball, hockey, college and NFL football...these are a few of my favorite things BUT the adrenaline from the ups and downs are really starting to wear me down.

I am the type of sports watcher who SCREAMS at the TV. This year, i thought that perhaps tweeting some of my gut-reactions to various plays, calls, and other happenings at game-time would be a healthful channel but it just seems to have ramped-up the heart-pumping, making them linger on a bit longer with the addition of REPLIES to my typed outbursts.

I really started following post-season baseball during the 2004 ALCS Red Sox vs. Yankees. Oh, how I was pulling for the Sox - and of course, they came back from a 3-0 deficit to beat NY and go on to win the World Series.

This year, my hero from that era - Johhny Damon - is now the enemy in a Yankee uniform. [sidebar here - is it me or has he aged significantly in 5 years? Maybe its the loss of his caveman/pirate look. He looks best hairy and scraggly, IMO]

My Philadelphia Eagles have had an uneven season, but today they stepped up and demolished the Giants - a game I would have LOVED to have seen. Sadly for me, it was not aired in the Chicago market, even though the FOX afiliate here merely played re-runs of syndicated cartoons/sitcoms instead of carrying it, likely because the Bears were playing on CBS. Radio is ok if, for example, you are in the car. But tuning in to internet streaming broadcast of a game...that just aint gonna do it for me.

Since the Blackhawks got hot last season, there is now much more game coverage - although this year I noticed that the camerawork when the games are covered by  Comcast Sports has been AWFUL.

I was contemplating re-acquainting myself with basketball and try to watch some Bulls games but I think my circulatory and nervous systems may have had enough for a season...and the season(s) aint even half over yet for football and hockey!

Worst of all, my husband hates sports so I watch either alone or with my daughter, who enjoys it but usually falls asleep during night games.

I also dont like sports bars (not sure why but I despise the atmosphere) so on game day/night, I usually snuggle into the corner of my sofa and wait for the next big play before hurtling whoops and hollers at my unassuming 19-inch old-school TV.

I love costumes and the concept of Halloween, although I am not a horror and gore enthusiast. Many years ago, going out to the dive bars and smoky clubs of Chicago usually involved some sort of costuming ritual, including wacky patterned hosiery/tights, fake eyelashes, red lipstick, and vintage mini-dresses or replicas courtesy of the juniors department. I often remarked that my look in my early 20s was akin to 60s-era mod hooker.

Although it usually looks slapped-together, I think since high school, my outfits have been crafted (albeit, often unsuccessfully) with great forethought and occasional gnashing of teeth. Perhaps 10 years of school uniforms wrecked my comfort level with choosing my own clothing?

These days, when I venture out of the house in public, I sometimes feel that my conscious choice of virtually every item I wear, from a boot cut jean, a sturdy ankle boot, and a cardigan and embellished tee, paired with a wrapped neck scarf and accompanied by an oversized leather pocketbook is *costuming* myself. The *character* that I become is respectable upper-middle-class-housemom.

Before I assumed this role, I played *suburban commuter businesswoman* and donned sober grey suits, tiny gold earrings, and practical pumps, often tying my hair back into a rather conservative chignon.

I think I only break my current role when I go to Atlantic City in the summertime and become 40-something on vacation, looking to get into trouble but not TOO much trouble.

For me, every day is Halloween.

That Phillies game last night was nuts - actually it was almost boring watching one so-called home run king after another get struck out by Cliff Lee.

I am supposed to attend a *cluster meeting* for all ministers of care - this means that all ministers from our area parishes are supposed to attend this presentation by a motivational speaker. It starts at 7:30 pm

World Series Game 2 starts at 7pm.

Sorry Church, I know where I am gonna be and what i will be praying about tonight!!!!!!!

I am not sure if its stress, hormone flux or aging in general but...

I am really losing my hair to the point where I now struggle to do comb-overs to hide my expanding scalp-line.

I am on an Rx medication that is supposed to lower the androgen-hormones that become dominant when the estrogen declines. Supposedly, this androgen dominance accelerates hair loss in women who are susceptible to it.

I knew it was a problem but I was ignoring it...until my husband, who rarely notices ANYTHING actually said something to me at dinner last night along the lines of, *Um, is your hair falling out? Do you want to maybe see someone about that?* I was humiliated, and it was worsened when my daughter chimed in with her agreement that *Mom, you are sort of going bald*

I set a consultation with a salon in town that specializes in hairpieces, extensions and wigs for women with hair loss. Ironically, I learned of this salon when they hosted a fundraiser for a friend who is going through chemotherapy for breast cancer. I am hoping that whatever solutions they offer are not fake-looking (I am not going to spend $$ to look like Kim from RHOA) or super-expensive (weaves and extensions can run into the thousands for the pieces and *installation*.)

But the fact is that they are talking *hairpiece*. A Lady toupee? Gah, I hope not. My current situation is embarrassing enough; I don't want to make things worse with something silly perched upon my noggin.

This was a terrible weekend. Whatever could go wrong or cause stress did.

By lunchtime on Friday I was shaking, so I had a very uncharacteristic mid-day margarita to calm  down a bit. It was either that or Xanax, so I went with the tastier option.

Things are getting better. I still feel overwhelmed by many things. Its during these emotionally frazzling times that I really wish my priest-pal was still around. His homilies were always such a calming and encouraging source for me.

Here*s to Monday and hope for a better week.

Hubby is in Vega$ for the week, so I am home alone w. the kiddo and many pets. The good part about that? I  get to slack off at evening mealtime; usually we have something from the frozen section at Trader Joes and some bag salad: Flatbreads/pizzas, microwaveable pasta dishes, Indian food, enchiladas, etc. Works for me!

I have a friend in Cyberland who is a former co-worker of mine. Apparently he loves to cook and  bake and thus he often posts his daily menus and recipes. It seems they are having delightful carb-heavy rich meals, paired with fabulous wines, followed by home-baked, butter-laden goodies almost every night! So, my guess was that, once a picture of them was posted, was that I would see photographic evidence of their daily indulgence. Perhaps I was even HOPING for this.

No such luck - they are both average/normal sized.You would almost never guess they are extreme foodies.

Dammit!

I cook a great deal, too and despite my occasional forays into cookie baking, I worry over how often per week I can have a dessert item that is not a small carton of *lite* yogurt or a small apple.

My internist told me a few weeks ago: your metabolism sucks.

Yeah, no sh*it!

However, it is not quite stanky enough to warrant thyroid supplements so I will continue to yearn for creamy risottos, gourmet donuts, and fried goat cheese (paired with a fab red, natch) while I read his status updates.

The construction project is humming along on more or less on schedule. Our framing inspection passed (WHOO!) as well as plumbing and HVAC. Electrical inspection is tomorrow and I am pretty confident about that. Then the insulation goes in Thursday/Friday; gets inspected and THEN we get into the GOOD stuff: finishing work.

First, drywall, then that gets inspected, and then all the goodies: flooring, interior doors, vent covers, light fixtures, plumbing fixtures, shelving, gutters, siding...

It seems like a lot. But I am pretty confident that it will move forward at a decent pace. That said, I still have to choose paint colors, floor and shower/wall tile for the bathroom, ceramic tile for the entry, paneling for the stairway, shelving layout and type for the pantry and MBR closet, ceiling fan for the MBR, light fixture for exterior door...in other words, I have much more shopping to do.

I thought that this year, ith the house in tumult, I would take a break from my usual tradition of crafting from scratch a unique Halloween costume for my daughter. However, after seeing the poor excuses for fabrication of the ready-made items at retailers, I decided to go ahead, buy a pattern and fabric, and put it together this weekend while she and her dad are up in Wisconsin enjoying the Fall colors and visiting an indoor waterpark in the Dells.

I popped into my local JoAnn fabrics and spied a fantastic stretch-velvet in black that is covered in cobalt blue glitter spiderwebs. It was on sale and so I decided to find a basic dress pattern - long, fitted bodice, long flared sleeves - and create a goth *Spider Queen* type of gown for her. I think somewhere upstairs in the attic I already have a basic black cape made. I will also secure a coordinating bright blue wig (if she wants; otherwise we have a dark brunette wig) and a spider pendant, and black corset-type belt.

The trick with costumes around here is that by Oct 31st it is usually quite cold at night, so the item needs to be something that works with layers underneath. This gown she can wear over a black turtleneck and leggings, perhaps even borrowing my black leather gloves if needed.

Once the workmen leave tonight, I will start cutting the pattern and fabric.

The hardest part of this: convincing my daughter, who did not explicitily choose this costume idea, that it will be fabulous!