So...

Now that I'm weaning off the BBRAG diet and my tummy is more or less ok (fingers crossed)  I am heading back ot the world of low-carb/high protein. It worked very well for me last year so I'm going to run with what works. Perfect timing, this being cookie season and all that... maybe as a Christmastime alternative, I'll come up with a recipe for some kind of delectible meatcake or no-dough-donut... or, uh, maybe not.

Been shopping much?

Seen the latest "store-within-a-store" Fiorucci boutique at your local Target store? All that "retro" 70's/80's gear made me giddy.

If I were 15, I'd be all over that merch unless...

...my parents saw this Fiorucci website  (warning: not for viewing at work!!) from their fall fashion campaign last year and thus forbade me from buying any of it.

Gee, I wonder if Target corporate knows about the questionable (is it me, or does it look like kid porn???) material their vendor has online. I mean, the satyrs and nudie sillouettes are campy but a nude teen(?) with the slogan "Fiorucci Made Me Hardcore", uh, not sure how that's going to fly with most American parents. Not to mention, the brand itself it was always kinda funky, if not "colorful." I mean, alot of it leans on a fetishy, punky, handcuffs-'n-high heels rock 'n roll sensibility. The NYC stores back-in-the-day used to have some wild window displays, if I recall.

Just for fun I fired off an email to Target corporate about this issue and how it (the website content)  made me uneasy  - and I'm not even that conservative of a person! I can't wait to have the store detective shadowing me next time I'm shopping for cleaning supplies and goldfish crackers. *Wink*

Hey there.

I'm ok.

How are you?

I modified the so-called "BRAT" diet to the BBBRAG diet: Bananas, Bouillon, Bagels, Rice, And GingerAle.

Somehow I managed to recall a gastroenterologist I saw back in my college days noting, "Tea has more tannic acid in it than coffee. It's very bad for the stomach." Thus, I eschewed the Typhoo, Tetley, Twinings and all other T's (bad pun, I know.)

I also can't belive that apples are any good for a tender gut because certain apples (like granny smith) really give me a stomachache when I am feeling "normal." Isn't there a reason a euphemism for 'rhea is the "green apple two-step?"

Apple juice, I guess would be ok, but I don't like it. Too "toddler-esque" for my tastebuds.

So...Tuesday I was in the hospital.

Two weeks ago I had a bout of horrible stomach pain. It was so painful I literlaly couldn't move out of bed. It lasted about two days and then I saw my GI doc (actually, a nurse practitoner in that office) who gave me some IBS meds and told me to come back in a month to see the Doc.

Well, Mondy night I ended up cracking my left cheek (on my face, not my rear!) on a kitchen cabinet door...its such a long story but the gist of it has to do with stealthy pets opening a cabinet door in the dark in order to raid the garbage can.

I was screaming from the pain and the fear that I'd end up with a black eye. Hubby said, "Put some ice on it and take some ibuprofen (advil) for the swelling."

I suddenly forgot the advice from the gastroenterology office: "No more ibuprofen!"

When I was 15 years old, I was ensconced at an all-girls so-called college prep academy on Philadelphia's (in-)famous Main Line.  I had attended single-sex school since first grade and aside from the occasional (and lame-o) St. Aloyisius or Malvern Prep school dances, I had never socialized with boys.

By eighth grade (circa 1983) I had become a devoted fan of I-92 , Philly's own new wave/punk radio station. When that station closed shop I drew the dial a bit lower to the local college station frequencies to hear all the hits by bands as diverse in style (and degree of wimpiness) as The Lyres, Agent Orange, Human Sexual Response, and The Three O'Clock. Due to its proximity to my home, my white-and-purple Sanyo boombox honed in on WSRN-FM, Swarthmore College's student-run station.

By 1984 I was hooked on 'SRN and got to know the schedule pretty well.  One night I caught a student show that featured that most intense of 80's genres: "Hardcore". The guy running the show assumed the moniker "Alternative Oyster" which I assume was a pun on the Stiff Little Fingers riff (Alternative Ulster) and his own love of all things oceanic. A self-proclaimed Florida surfer-kid, "The Oyster" introduced suburbanites like me to Minor Threat, TSOL, Bad Brains, Black Flag and more.

I am fuming.

I have been bombarded as of late with seemingly innocent remarks from other women - including my usually "sensible and sensitive" midwife - that call into question my reproductive state.

"Why are you getting an IUD? Don't you want more children?" - this question asked by health professionals who know full-well that the Mirena device I use is very easily removeable, should I choose to, and has no effect on future pregnancy.

"Doesn't your daughter need a sibling?"

"Why are you going to wait so long? Don't you want to try again right away?"

And if I hesitate to answer I get: "Oh, well you can always adopt."

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am MORE than a goddamn uterus and ovaries. I am a woman, an individual with my own physical health to consider, and my emotional well-being that needs alot of mending. I do not need more kids to validate my worth or my identity.  Furthermore, its none of your FUCKING BUSINESS whether or not I plan to get it on and crank out another kid.

Then there is the fact that we are drowning in medical bills (we have insurance but we have to pay 10% of the contracted amount up to $1500 per person per year. And whoopee for me, I am just NOW hitting the $1500 limit with the final fees coming in from the delivery and MRI.)

Yeah, ladies, I'll crank one out after I um, let's see:

• wait 3 months for my rubella vaccine to wear off (had to get a booster after I delivered Jack.)
  
• pay off about $900 in medical bills
  
• begin to make a dent in a $15,000 home equity line from our plumbing project (babies kinda need HOMES to live in...they don't take to living in cars too well)
  
• lose the 30 lbs I gained in this pregnancy so that my bad knee and back aren't aching anymore
  
• get my IBS under control so I'm not in pain everyday
  
• and, oh yeah, finish healing from the grieving process so I don't freak out like a lunatic when you ask me your nosy-ass questions! (like today when a woman I just met and who is a NURSE made such a dipshit inquiry.)
  

We didn't have a turkey this year as it was just the three of us...we opted for a chicken and just a few side dishes. No fancy appetizers or centerpiece on the table. No guests or extended family to host. Just us.

The L O N G weekend wasn't going so well for me until tonight. Then I was able to take some time alone and dash off to my local caffeine purveyor (hint: rhymes with Car Pucks) for a post-dinner dessert drink. As I ambled down my bumpy gravel driveway in the Tortoise, I saw my neighbor loading the back of his pickup truck with furniture.

They have lived there for about 5 years now...and will be gone in a day or two. They owned the house originally, then fell on hard times, nearly went into foreclosure and were "bailed out" by one of these semi-scams where an investor buys the mortgage and then rents the house back to the bailout recipient. Well my neighbors were renting their former home for over a year and the landlord decided to sell the place. They are in their mid-50's with a daughter in junior high. They are moving to a 2-bedroom apartment in town so their daughter won't have to change schools. They told us they will likely never be able to own a home again.

It made me sad to see them packing - their situation seems so dire. And as my neighbor and I exchanged waves, I turned out of the drive and thought about our muddy torn-up lot and the demure 800 square feet of home that rests upon it. According the the taxman its 828 sq. ft to be exact. That's pretty darn dinky! But its ours. And for that, I am thankful.

Glued to the TV watching Joey Jeramiah, Wheels, Spike, and Caitlyn in THIS:

I received an interesting email-newsletter from Dannon Corporation today (yanno - the yogurt people.)

Apparently not only is Christmas merch being pushed put onto store shelves by halloween, but New Year's Resolution tools are being offered before Thanksgiving!  Actually I find resources like this quite helpful, especially when I'm busy obsessing over things related to my bod and its semi-shabby state.

Create a free acount and you can plan a health/lifestyle/fitness routine and journal it, calculate funthings like body mass, caloric intake, and more.

It's all on Dannon's "Light 'n Fit"page here.

Or if fitness isn't on your radar screen you can go to Dannon's page of recipes to find some fab ideas for dessert and more...