This Lent, I am all about "detox" - both physically and mentally. As I mentioned before, I gave up coffee and have really not indulged much in wine. I also need to cut WAY back on sweets, which has been tough since my daughter's Brownie troop just delivered all their cookie orders (and of course we bought some of those delicious caloric time bombs...)

Tomorrow I am scheduled for an herbal detox wrap at a local spa. I've been looking for one that used ingredients besides seaweed, because  I am wary about indulging in  idodine-based products since I have a shellfish allergy. I found an intriguing wrap that is reasonably priced and penciled my appointment into my calendar.

However, now I am wondering:

Is it considered "cheating" on my Lenten de-caffeination if I undergo a Green Coffee Body Wrap?

Last week I began a Monday morning scripture class through my church.

Hey - you there, stop shaking your head! YES Catholics DO read the Bible! So now you know!

Anyway...

The class is lead by the young and energetic Father Steve and (not to denounce any "other" Bible studies) it really has the feel of a college-level literature class. Althought the study guides have the stamp of approval from the Church, they really delve into aspects of the particular verses including literary style, imagery, linguistics, art/cultural references, historical setting and more. My point is that this study is less about indoctrination and more about learning the specifics of one book and how it ties in with our understanding of other messages and imagery (and overall theology(ies) ) we have learned through the years in the other books. We are studying the Book of Wisdom and are learning of the tie-ins the author uses that meld both Greek and Hebrew culture of its era.

Since it is Presidents' Day, I will be taking my daughter along to class; she's bringing her own books - likely a new "American Girl" novel and a "My Weird School" installment to keep her occupied.

After class, we head to a neighboring 'burb to indulge in Mom & Daughter PEDICURES at a spa that has services for children (and is also reasonable priced). We have appointments, so I don't forsee a huge mob scene on this non-school day. After our Spa treat, we will go out to lunch, although it's currently a toss-up between crapple, er, APPLEBEE'S and Red Robin. After the announcement of the huge beef recall, though, I'm inclined to shy away from a burger-specialty place.

Later this afternoon, I take her to her Yoga Kids class, which she has been enjoying immensely. Kids don't seem to have the same hangups about chanting OM at the end of their sessions the way some of us suburbanite ladies do!

So today is a Mom-Daughter-Mind-Body-Spirit day...So Our Father, Om Shanti and all that good stuff...

Friday mornings, I usually manage to pry my arse away from the wonderful world of the internet in order to make my rounds as a Eucharistic Minister to homebound senior citizens.

Yesterday, as I was about to leave, I noticed that...my car was gone! But then I looked around and noticed hubby's car was in the driveway. I made a quick call to his office and learned that he apparently intented to telepathically inform me that he needed an oil change and could I take his car in to the Jiffy Lube?

Grr. I was in NO mood. I only had enough patience and goodwill in my emotional arsenal yesterday to cover Ministering, NOT to include errands in the Chevy-I-Hate-To-Drive-Because-It-Handles-Really-Strangely.

"Agh. I'll just take the van," I noted to him, and hung up.

I first headed to church to get some blessed host from the tabernacle (which, mind you, is under lock and key...I have to go through a  PROCEDURE in order to procure the wafers.)Then I drive to the home of whomever is on my visit schedule. As I was turning right onto a busier 4-lane street, some goofy macho jerk in a snowplow barrels down the road, and looks like he's going to run right into me. I step on the gas and get the Rockin' Van hauling its blue shiny self down the boulevard...only to spy a cop hiding on a side street as I pass by. He turns onto the street, behind me,and after some hesitation, puts on his flashers. D*MN!!!!

This is the SECOND time I have gotten a speeding ticket while having Communion as my passenger!!! Needless to say, I became even grumpier, now that I'd be flushing $115 down the drain to keep it off my record.

What is is about  Jesus, me and the gas pedal that keeps getting me in trouble?

On Monday, I was grocery shopping and saw this in the lot and had to snap a pic with my cameraphone.




I giggled in large part because this vanity tag was on a freakin' ESCALADE! I wonder what the Magi in a pimped-out V-8 ride would have brought to the baby King? I wonder if THEY would have gotten a ticket as they sped home, away from Herod, across the desert.

Living in the Chicago area, the news of the tragic events yesterday at Northern Illinois University are inescapable.

Since giving up coffee for Lent, I HAD been sleeping beautifully but last night, my slumber was fitful.

I thought about how difficult it must be for a parent to send a child away to school,  AS IS...and these days, those parent-child milestones are compounded by the reality that random acts of violence and terrorism occur far too often in our communities.

 When I was in college, a deranged woman attempted to poision and otherwise cause harm to a number of students on my campus before she walked into a local grade school and opened fire, shooting and killing a young child ad wounding others. Prior to that, when I was in high school, I had asked my mom for a ride to the mall. Fortunately for me, she stated that she had too much work to do preparing the house and my sisters' cosutmes for Halloween. That afternoon, another deranged woman walked into the mall and randomly shot and killed a number of innocent shoppers, one of whom was the obstetrician that delivered me as a baby!

Related to those thoughts, yesterday in the mail, I received a Girl Scout camp catalogue that I requested from our council office. My daughter and I went through the offerings together and she selected a 3-day, 2-night overnight camp expereince that she'd like to try this summer. I am wholly supportive of her learning and expressing independence, and to have the opportunity to camp with girls her age from all over our region. I just don't know how I'll manage on the drive there or for the following days.  I think it will be the longest three days I've ever lived.

(Note: I posted this true story as an entry to another website's contest; but I thought it so appropriate for Valentines Day, I had to reproduce it here.)

Scene: Marshall's checkout counter

Players: Elderly female customer, cashier, me (also in line)

Time, Date: Today, Noon-thirty

Actions:

1.) Elderly woman customer gingerly hands cashier her Valentines purchases, consisting of a bag of gourmet chocolates and a pair of men's silk underpants.

2.) Cashier rings up purchases and aids customer in completing transaction.

3.) I snicker thinking of the lucky old fellah who has a wife still sexy & spicy, despite her years, to get him sexy undies!

I just got back from evening one of our three-night "parish mission." I have no idea when these pasty-white-suburban versions of old timey-Southern Revivals came into play in American Catholic parishes, but they certainly weren't popular back in my childhood. After my experience, I can tell you they aren't popular in my ADULTHOOD either!

I almost didn't attend because we got a "sneak preview" last night at Mass as the hired duo - a Dominican priest and  nun - made presentations in place of the homily. She seemed thoughtful and somewhat interesting. And, in typical (and ever-disappointing) fashion, the woman with something to say played second fiddle to the guy with the bigger mouth and the Holy Orders.

He was annoying off the bat: loud, sing-songy and over-simplified. He was a fairly typical example of a "GEC." GEC is an acronym I created while witnessing the pious and utterly gooberific machinations of a young woman in the pew behind me at a bible study seminar a few years ago.

In my faith, it is traditional to show respect for the blessed Eucharist in the tabernacle by genuflecting (sort of like a curtsey or bow) before entering the pew. This gal decided to go all out and kneel on the floor and then proceed to do some kind of bizarre genuflection yoga - holding her arms out straight in front of her and undulating her back as if she were doing a cross between The Worm and an Islamic call to prayer. It was ludicrous!

As the course continued, she kept talking OUT LOUD, much to everyone's annoyance, to prove that she knew the various prophets, Saints, and others that the presentor cited as he offered an assortment of quotations. After her ignorance of my perturbed glances, I began journaling about her furiously in the notes I was taking. Why not? She kept distracting me from the speaker that I PAID to hear, so I might as well record the show she foisted upon me and my fellow attendees.

At the top of my page, I began scribbling and it came to me: Googly-Eyed Christian!  So, what is a GEC?

A GEC is:

• unsophisticated, but they THINK they are quite wordly and experienced
• often overly-pious: sit int he front pews, loudest singers, excessive litugical gesturing, closed-eyes and swaying to favorite hymns
  
• inconsiderate and/or ignorant  of the nuances and differences in individual personalities, preferences, and life experiences of others
• instead of using their God-given brains and "talents" toward the articulation of specific goals, and concrete methods to achieve those goals (whether spiritual or other), they rely on cliches like "Let Go; Let God" or "God will take care of it."
• If in doubt, if you consider yourself somewhat "religious" "spiritual" or just respectful of other faiths, something about this person will just make you gag, and probably lose respect for their faith system.
  

There are plenty more examples of GEC-isms that I'm sure I'll just have to share in the future. I genuinely dislike dissing other people - ESPECIALLY "church people." But in the case of the GEC, I get so distracted by their spiritual and intellectual LAZINESS and goober-isms that it hampers the efforts I'm making when trying to help grow myself and others my parish community.

So...enough ranting...back to tonight.

As it turns out the "guy" is a published musician/hymn author so he insisted on squeezing no less than eight hymns into a 90 minute presentation. At least two of the stories offered in his "preaching" were OLD jokes/tales that have been circulating around sermons for many years. Worst of all, when he sung, he'd affect this faux-baritone that reminded me of David Sedaris-as-Billie Holliday! I kept biting my lip in the pew!

But then Sister spoke. Both times she offered some original (and SPECIFIC) nuggets of wisdom on SPECIFIC topics.  I felt cheated that she only spoke twice for what seemed like 5 minutes at a time.

I saw two friends of mine across the aisle who wisely sat near a side exit. They ducked out 10 minutes early. I was in clear eyeshot of our Pastor and Associate Pastor so I stayed glued in my pew until I thought a reasonable exit could be made.

I was feeling a bit sad that this experience was not more positive. With the opening strains of the closing hymn, I made a beeline for the door. Another woman that I had never seen before was exiting at the same time. We somehow caught each other's eye. Something stirred in me to say something to her. But she beat me to it:

"ENOUGH of the singing already," she exclaimed as we entered the parking lot.

I concurred, "I liked Sister, but I could have done without Guy Lombardo!"

She laughed so hard I thought she'd fall on the ice! We wished each other well and went home our separate ways. And then it hit me that maybe my "mission" was to cheer up and bond with a stranger tonight, albeit, over our shared dissatisfaction. As the GEC's say, "The Lord works in mysterious ways."

Today I made one of my favorite Lenten (ie - vegetarian for abstinance days) Recpies for Creamy Roasted Red Pepper Soup. I created this myself by experimenting with ingredients until I got a result that my family - including my non-soup-loving husband - really enjoys. You can serve it as a meal with some sprinkled croutons & parmesan on top, or pair it with a gourmet grilled cheese sandwich - I recommend French Emmenthal on Italian or Sourdough bread. It also pairs nicely with Pino Grigio or similar white wines.

Enjoy!

Creamy Roasted Red Pepper Soup - VEGETARIAN

 3 tbs butter, divided

½ cup diced onion (about 1 small onion – yellow or white)

1 clove garlic, minced

1 jar (12 ounce size) roasted red peppers, drained, rinsed, any seeds removed.

¼ C. all purpose flour OR 1/8 C. Wondra

1 can (12 oz.) evaporated milk (can use fat-free evaporated milk if needed)

1 can (14 ½ oz.) vegetable  broth * 

½ tsp. Garlic Salt

¼ tsp. Ground black pepper

 
Directions:

1. Melt 2 tbs of butter in medium saucepan over medium heat.
2. Sautee onion and garlic until softened. Remove from heat.
3. Place cooked onion and garlic along with red peppers in blender or food processor. Puree until smooth (add a bit of the vegetable broth if needed to puree it)
4. Melt remaining butter in saucepan and add flour or Wondra to make rue.
5. Gradually stir in evaporated milk and vegetable broth into the rue, stirring constantly to combine it and remove lumps. Bring mixture to a boil.
6. Add red pepper puree, season with Garlic salt and pepper and heat through.

EVIL spelled backwards is LIVE.

Huh. The things you learn playing Boggle...


[On another note, I had no idea Blogdrive was going to begin adding weird and often irrelevant ads-by-Google to the bottom of each blog entry! Sorry. I'm too cheap to buy a subscription so I guess I have to give in to the terms of the server-wielders.]

If you are out and about and see someone with a big smudge on their forehead, don't offer them a tissue! Today is Ash Wednesday - a special day of prayer and fasting for certain Christan sects that ushers in the season of Lent. Today at Mass, the portion of the above cited reading that was emphasized in the homily was "all your heart" (also translated as "your whole heart.")

I like the idea of approaching the relative newness (and thus, abundance of opportunity) of this year with full capacity of sentiment, emotion, effort, and thought.

Ok, THAT quasi-piety out of the way, I can now comment on the part of this reading that always makes me snicker:


Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that I am very exacting and deliberate with my choices of  clothing, accessories and such. It took me a LONG time to really develop  a sense of purposefullness in my personal style; and I'm not talking about "fashion" per se. Rather, I used to be a bargain hound who focused on labels and pricetags and relative value.  I used to have all sorts of mismatched and rarely-worn garments and accessories (shoes, bags, etc.) in my closet and streaming out of my dresser,  which have finally ended up in a donation pile for a local thrift store. Instead of quantity, I have honed in on quality and fit as the top qualifiers for my personal  purchase-ability. So this year, I am continuing with my trend of watchfulness and waiting - not choosing on the spot because of an incredible markdown. 

I am also beginning to choose items that may be FULL PRICE but that I feel will fill a very practical (yet fabulous) niche in my wardrobe. So I am not just using my WHOLE HEART to shop anymore - also my whole WALLET!