Tomorrow, my family will forgo its usual leisurely Saturday breakfast (apple pancakes, bacon or sausage, juice and coffee, lovingly preapered by Dad) and instead chug some coffee and nosh on granola bars or a bowl of cereal before dashing off to my daughter*s first karate test. She has been a white belt since last fall. She skipped summer classes because of other activities - like hanging out in Wisconsin at the cabin.

She claims to have been practicing her KARA - the 21 moves in sequence that she needs to perform to get stripes or move up a belt level. I hope she at least gets some stripes- not because I am some sort of stage-mom, but because I want her to keep up with some sort of physical activity. No one in our family plays a *sport* (although in summer we do like outdoor things like fishing, hiking, boating, swimming, etc.) For that matter, no one even regularly WATCHES a sport, except me during college football season or during MLB or NHL playoffs.

Besides the great workout she gets, I have noticed an improvement in her social skills with peers, which is something she has struggled with for awhile. She even has a *best friend* now - a girl in her class at school whom she bonded with last year in - yep, you guessed it - karate class.

I had to run to my local Wal-Mart today to pick up, among other items, 4 big bags of road salt for our super-slippery driveway. After packing the trunk of my car with my purchases, like any half-decent person, I wheeled the cart three car-lengths down to the cart corral.

As I got into the car to drive home, I saw a young woman put a bag into on the floor of their vehicle and then shove their cart into the next parking space over, and then she got into the passenger seat and shut her door. The cart corral WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THEIR TRUCK ON THE DRIVER SIDE! I can only imagine that she is the protoype of piggish, self-centered Wal-mart shopper who, en masse, killed an innocent clerk on Black Friday in NY.

I hope she gets coal in her stocking this year.

As it turned out, I am quite glad I saw the specialist my Gyne recommended. He was really wonderful - smart, sweet, great listening and detective skills.

He talked with me for awhile, then gave me an exam and ultrasound. Then we talked some more.

He explained that with my presenting symptoms plus my history, he suspects that adenomyosis is the culprit - not just the fibroid & polyp. The only way to truly diagnose AND treat adenomyosis is (drumroll please): Hysterectomy! Yay!

I am such a kook to say *yay* about upcoming surgery, but his words echoed what I have been saying all along: I have been suffering all these months, and have tried various treatments and had every test/procedure out there and still no resolution. He told me: You have suffered with this long enough. Things should improve for you once this is taken care of for good.

He took the time to write out all the options I have to treat this, including the various types of hysterectomies plus the option of ablation instead of removal (in case I changed my mind and wanted to keep my uterus.)

He also agreed that with my hystery (see, I am making jokes now) of painful cysts on my left side, that we could go ahead and remove left ovary and tube, leaving the right one for some hormonal protection for me. He also agreed that I would be a great candidate for a laproscopic hyster, as opposed to other types. I proposed this and he seemed impressed that I knew about the 3 types and the pros and cons of each.

The only downside to all of this is that I will need to make 1 pre-surgical visit, and two post-surgical visits all the way downtown, which will be time-consuming and expensive no matter if I take the train or drive each time.

And, of course the logistics of being downtown for surgery while someone maintains the home/kid/pets here in the burbs will be tricky.

But, no matter, I will be calling there this week to begin scheduling procedures to happen sometime in January.

After the endless snow piles of last winter, in July I purchased a montrously large snowblower from Sears. It has a 70HP Techumseh engine and an electric start. (I am still paying the thing off!)

Yesterday it took me approximately 30 minutes to clear our 100ft long driveway plus the sidewalks on my block. Not only was the driveway cleared but, by and large, it was DRY, where other roads in the neighborhood were icy after plowing.

I have a beef with the methods of our local agencies that plow the roads; they always crush a number of mailboxes along the route which drives all of us neighbors mad.

Yesterday morning, the Frontage Road, which is in front of my house, and then winds through our neighborhood, was really icy.  Cars were skidding throughtout the morning commute. It seemed obvious to me that there is, in fact, a road salt shortage because not a crystal was in sight.

As my daughters bus pulled up and whisked her off to school, I worried for a moment about some nimrod driving to fast for conditions and bumping the bus.

A few hours later I got a phone call from my daughter*s school. It was the principal. The bus was in a minor accident, skidding on ice and the back end swinging into a tree and denting a window. Thankfully all fo the kids were fine and made it to school without injury or upset.

I think the school district, local government and county govt need to hire me pushing my big red Techumseh to clear the roads instead of whatever the heck they are doing now.

My gyne called me first thing this morning. I had a tough time keeping it together. In fact, at one point he raised his voice and told me to *Calm down!*

The bottom line is that he seemed even more frustrated than me. He insists that hysterectomy surgery for my fibroids is not *indicated.*

He told me to go to this consultation tomorrow and also stated that if this Downtown doc can do it, that I should have this outpatient surgery for the fibroid & polyps, then another outpatient procedure with him for an IUD, then some other surgery with him to implant hormones into my arm to prevent ovarian cysts.

Does this make any f*cking sense? I am guessing it would make my insurance unhappy to pay for a hospital stay and surgical team when instead the docs can cobble together a bunch of outpatient options.

My next step is to take a Xanax tomorrow morning so I dont end up being a total lunatic at the doc tomorrow, then quietly shopping around for another gyne to just clean house and end this drama once and for all.

Besides dealing with the side-effects of The Ring (which, as Abby noted, is also the name of a series of horror movies) I have been very anxious about my Tuesday appointment downtown with a surgical/gynecological specialist, referred to me by my regular gyne.  It is to discuss the possibility of this myomectomy, which I have already determined via research is NOT going to fix my problems of ovarian cysts/tumors or birth control(sterilization.) i think most frustrating to me is that with this procedure, after 8 years, 27% of women who have it done, end up in surgery AGAIN to deal with more fibroids.

If I am going under the knife (and paying a hefty co-pay, to boot)  I want a blue-ribbon guarantee of a CURE. A final solution. No bullshit.

I want my wonky left ovary - source of much pain and suffering on and off for over 12 years - out for good.

I want my uterus and its delightful garden of tumors(fibroids) and polyps OUT. Especially since my grandmother died a horrible, tortuous death from - you guessed it - endometrial cancer.

I should count myself very fortunate that my gyne wants me to look into less invasive newer, high-tech options. I should also be grateful that he is humble enough to admit that he is not an expert in some of the newer techniques and it would be safer for me to see someone with no connection to his practice (ie - he makes no money from it) although they are colleagues via the university at which they both teach.

I SHOULD be thankful, but I am NOT. Instead, I am frustrated and impatient. I just want to go to my excellent local hospital and have a commonly-performed surgery. I have zero interest in something more *cutting edge* done miles from home in downtown Chicago. I dont even want to go through the cost and hassle of getting downtown to that appointment on Tuesday (it will easily cost me over $50 for transportation and co-pay) . I am on the verge of cancelling it, but I worry that perhaps I need that second opinion to get my current doc AND insurance company to comply with what *I* want to do.

To be honest, I was preoccupied with these issues all weekend, and did not have much fun (except when I was working on my beading projects.) I was so upset, first about the Ring issue, then about the Tuesday appointment, that I left a voicemail over the weekend for my gyne to call me on Monday. I hope I can speak in a calm, sane, non-anxious manner to him. He has not done anything wrong, per se. Its Mother Nature that done me wrong...

Some time ago, my daughter received some cute kiddie-craft kits for birthday or Chrstmas. A few of these were beading kits, mostly with wood or plastic beads. On dull days, to get her away from the TV, I would get out the beads and encourage her to string  up bracelets and other do-dads.

One portion of the kit had some attractive glass beads; that along with some other craft supplies I had around that house got me interested in making jewelry -specifically earrings. Tuesday afternoon, my daughter and I went on a jewelry-supply shopping spree at JoAnn Fabric & Crafts - and thankfully the clerk generously allowed us the use of a coupon (that I did not have in my wallet) that gave us $15 off our purchase.

Since then, I have been working on my earring-making projects (plus one bracelet) and some turned out quite well. I buy and/or admire colorful jewelry from the likes of Chicos, Coldwater Creek, etc, and I think the styles I have been pursuing in my craft projects reflect that. My husband has suggested (numerous times!) to sell them online or such. Insead, I think that with a year of projects under my belt, I will have enough inventory that maybe I can get a table at a craft fair next fall; we have some large regional ones in the area that could prove to be fruitful.

My next step is to learn how to solder metal to make chains and loops for necklaces and such. I am not a fan of hemp, leather, or satin cording with a pendant plopped in the end (or, technically, in the middle.) Once I hone my skills enough, I may even invest in working with better quality materials, like sterling silver and semi-precious stones. Until then its alloy metals and glass beads, which is fine with me (and my bankroll!)

After a near-breakdown, I did some more research, verified my suspicions, and then chukked the Nuva-ring hormonal treatment I have been on to stop ovulation in order to shrink the masses on my ovaries I have been dealing with since September.

I had not done artificial hormones (via The Pill or in this case, the Ring) since the late 1990s. Back then , I ALSO had every negative side effect that comes with messing with body chemistry.  I tried to be open-minded and try it, as I wished to get rid of the pain. But then I got migranes, which faded into daily headaches. Then the boobs, ass, and the rest blew up like balloons. Now my hair is falling out or breaking off and looks like straw (I usually have OILY hair!)

I had noticed that I pretty much cried EVERY day over stupid little things. Sometimes merely a commercial on TV would set me off! Now, in addition to teary=ness, I am snippy, no patience, just not myself. So...enough. I have had it. I now know I have fibroids so the ring cant stop the bleeding issues anyway.

I have no idea what I will do for birth control. Until I get some sort of PERMANENT solution via surgical procedure,  I guess I will have to follow the advice of NeNe Leakes: *Close your legs to married men!* Except, in this case, the Married Man is the one I am married TO! ;)

Date:        Nov. 25, 2008

Subject:    Extensions

To:           Dwight Eubanks

Mr. Eubanks,

Janet Jackson called. She wants her hair back.

...then why does a cotton & bamboo throw I got  today have a label reading DRY CLEAN ONLY?

Aw heck, it  was on clearance (even less than the price online) so once it begins to reek of dirty feet and dog hair, I will try a bit of woolite in cold water. Or maybe DRYEL.

[Yes, I did know it said *dry clean* before I bought it anyway. After seeing comparable throws in Restoration Hardware and other shops at a local shopping center, I could not beat the $28.99 price tag for the perfect color throw to keep me warm while reading on my living room sofa. It did the trick nicely tonight, on that level of functionality, btw.]

I dont really *get* all of these trends in DRY CLEAN ONLY bedding and accessories. I mean, dont people sometimes get nasty in and on a bed? I want to be able to WASH that stuff, or at the very least, spot-treat it with tide-to-go or something! Plus, in our home, our dogs and cats sleep on/in the bed with us at night so I like to be able to rid the area of fur and dander every-so-often, you know?

I lucked into a really beautiful and functional quilt coverlet and matching pillow shams for our bed last year. I wash the coverlet about every 3-4 weeks with a touch of Oxy-clean in the wash. It has not faded at all and comes out just beautiful.

I have been looking for a solid and large-enoug throw for our sofa to replace the homemade and now sort-of wrecked (via an enthusisatic vacuum cleaner) afghan we used on chilly nights. Virtualy everything that wasnt wholly *bedroom-ish* was of some fussy fabric like chenille or velvet or alpaca. I fell in love with a chenille thow in Restoration harware but I could tell instantly that the long fringed ends would be bait for two very naughty cats that live in my home.

For now, I am quite thrilled with my eco-friendly bamboo throw, but I am still puzzled and slightly amused by the idea of a very NON-econ-friendly dry cleaning process to clean it!