I was really angry with Annie for her obsession with trash, but one tidbit I omitted from my previous blog entry is that Annie has been having a number of *issues* lately - mostly peeing and pooping all over the house, even though I walk her constantly, and I am usually home for her to ask to go out.

I spoke with our wonderful vet today. She and I agreed that its possible that old Annie (whose exact age is unknown, but could be anywhere from 12-15) is having aging-related issues such as arthritis (prevent her from wanting to walk around outside), incontinence (which can be treated with pills, I learned today), or possibly something worse (which could also exlpain her more pronounced obsession with food). She was already scheduled for her annual comprehensive exam AND dental cleaning tomorrow, so she will also possibly get X-rays and a urinalysis to see if there is a medical reason for her poor housetraining manners in the past few weeks.

For Annies sake, I hope something DOES show up that is treatable.

Friday night, while I was at the cookie party, my mostly-beagle knucklehead dog, Annie, got into the garbage, made a royal mess and made herself sick with a typical case of *garbage gut.* Copious amounts of diarrhea, vomiting, and constant requests from her to go outside ensued. It is now 5:47 am. I was woken up three times last night  by Miss Garbage Eater to take her out so she could squirt OR to haul her barfing ass out of my bed (which was this last occurance at 5:30 am)

Here is my grumpy meme. Play along if you like.


(enter annoying Dog/dog issue here)_____ is no fun because _________________.

_(again with the annoying dog issue)____   drives me nuts because_____________.

__(enter name of annoying dog)___ is damn lucky I rescued his/her sorry canine arse from the (pound/shelter/breeder/pet store/neighbor) because this (annoying dog issue) is (expletive and adjective of dog issue)!


Here is mine:

Eating out of the trash_____ is no fun because it results in the runs and barfing.

_Eating out of the trash drives me nuts because I first have to clean up the mess, then I *know* garbage gut is coming soon thereafter.

__Annie___ is damn lucky I rescued her sorry canine arse from the McHenry County dog pound because this eating out of the trash is bleeping disgusting!

I felt out of place at the party last night. I knew very few of the moms there, which was not a problem in and of itself. But overall, I felt like I did not fit in.

EVERY mom except me had on dark denim jeans, some sort of heeled boot and a plain sweater. I wore a glitzy top, and black knit pants and rhinestone dangly earrings - I mean, its a holiday party, right? I felt dumb and out of style. Worse, though, I was clearly the fattest person there and one of the shortest. Everyone had long layered hair (majority blonde), was about 5ft-8 and thin. And NO ONE ate any of the wonderful snacks our hostess made...no one except me and my kooky neighbor who also attended. She is a very bold, straightforward woman, and she cracks me up, altough she never seems to laugh at the things she says that I find funny, so conversations get awkward at times. Nonethelss, I spent a lot of time talking with her.

 Thankfully another friendly face arrived later - a mom who has a child in my daughters class and who also goes to my church. She is also tall, thin, and pretty, but she is good-humored and always makes a point of chatting with me, so at least I wasnt twiddling my thumbs in a corner.

Overall, it was nice, but I realize why I dont clamor to be part of a big *mom* crowd. I am glad to remind myself that I do have one or two friends in the neighborhood - not CLOSE friends, but women that are reliable to ring up for a coffee date, have a good chat with in the supermarket, maybe even a lunch now and again. I never was part of a clique in high school or beyond, and I guess its silly to think I would become enveloped in one at this stage of my life.

I am also thankful, that, though I am different, something prompted the hostess to invite me, so I know I am not a pariah in the suburban mom enclave in my community.

After burning the first two dozen of my Awesome Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies(I baked them for 12 min in my preheated oven; they only need about 9), I took it as a sign that I might have to use my secret weapon recipe to come up with the requisite 6 dozen for the cookie exchange. I only had enough ingredients for one batch of the oatmeal! So, I put together the super-easy Butterscotch Cookies and they turned out beautifully. So, having a change of heart (and since I am required to share te recipe for the exchange) I am sharing that EASY recipe here. It is based on one I saw some years go in Better Homes & Gardens but I changed some items to make it my own. Instead of butterscotch you can also use white chips & macadamia nuts, which is an excellent combo. Chocolate chips, however, are NOT good in this, for some reason.

Amie's Easy Butterscotch Cookies

 Yield: about 5-6 dozen cookies

1 package yellow cake mix
½ C. Crisco (I use the sticks for easier measuring. ½ stick = ½ C.)
2 eggs
¼ C. dark brown sugar
1 Tbs unsweetened cocoa powder
1 C. butterscotch chips

• Preheat oven to 350
• Line cookie sheet with foil and spray with nonstick cooking spray
• In large mixing bowl, add cake mix, Crisco, and brown sugar. Mix to combine.
• Add eggs and mix well.
• Add cocoa and mix well.
• Add butterscotch chips and mix until distributed through the batter.
• Use teaspoon to roll into 1-inch balls; place on cookie sheet – 12 to a sheet.
• Bake for 10-12 minutes.
• Remove from over and, using spatula carefully remove to platter to cool.

I was excted a few weeks ago when I was invited to a moms-only party for the holidays at my friend and neighbors house. However, further reading of the invitation revealed that it is a cookie exchange and I need to bring 6-dozen cookies plus the recipe with me.

6 dozen?!?

I begrudgingly bake a few dozen cookies each year - one batch is divided into gift bags for my daughter to take for teacher/bus driver gifts. The other goes to hubby to take to work for his office party/buffet/celebration.

I have two reliable and oft-complimented recipes for cookies that I make. It is really not all that much trouble to make them; they are both drop cookies, so no rolling or shaping of dough is involved. One of the recipes is good - but is best as a *dunker.* What I mean is that on its own its ok; pretty tasty. But when dunked in milk, its is irresistable. I have had that recipe published in an office cookbook years ago, so I suppose I wont mind sharing it. It is one that I made up myself. The cookies are sturdy, so they would be good for an exchange party, I guess.

The cookie that gets raves on it own, is one that I also made up (or, more like doctored from an existing recipe.) But...I feel like a total asshat to say that its a recipe I just dont want to share. Likely because its EASY yet seems difficult when tasted. Its my *cheat* cookie and I dont want the secret to get out! (Although I may have posted it on this blog last year...I forget...)

Beej suggested in another venue, that I do the hershey kiss cookies. Those ARE good and I was set to do them - even went to the market on Monday with the intent of buying the Kisses. But I caved to my ego - I wanted to use one of MY original reicpes. So I am making the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that are my hallmark. These I may have also posted here at one time but I will share again. Yes, they call Crisco in all its hydrogenated goodness, but it gives it the BEST texture and that melting/crackling sensation when dunked into milk. Oh well; its just once a year!

Awesome Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

1C Crisco shortening (I use the sticks – easier to measure)

1 C. Sugar

1 C firmly packed dark brown sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

1 ½ C Flour

1 tsp salt

1 tsp baking soda

3 C quick cook oats

1 C semi-sweet chocolate chips
 

• Preheat oven to 350
• Spray baking sheets with non-stick spray (Pam, etc.)
• In large mixing bowl, blend Crisco with the sugars until creamy.
• Mix in eggs and vanilla.
• Stir in flour, salt and baking soda.
• Add oats and chocolate chips.
• Form into 1-inch balls and place on baking sheet. Some chips may fall out of the dough – just stick them back in – they will stick while baking.
• Bake for 10 to 12 minutes. Remove to rack to cool

 
Note: in my experience, these cookies are actually better after they have cooled. Serve with cold milk or eggnog for dunking. (I am also told they are good dunked into hot coffee or hot chocolate.)

Since the first week of advent, hymns at mass have been solemn, even if the words *rejoice* are in the lyrcis. Tonight, at the mass celebrating The Immaculate Conception of Mary, we sang a number of hymns - both traditional and contemprary - but all were cast in melancholic tone vis-a-vis accompanyment by a professional cellist.

Don*t get me wrong - they were beautiful. One of my favorites, the traditional O Come, O Come, Emmanuel had my daughter and I singing along heartily (although it also found me choking back tears, as it always does each year.) Likewise, I found myself taking note of a more contemporary tune by Marty Haugen, My Soul In Stillness Waits. Not unlike O Come, Emmanuel, it has a haunting melody which is further amplified when accompanied by cello and piano as it was tonight.

With the various symptoms I have had and a general malaise, I have not been doing much in the way of workouts lately. Then, Monday, I reinjured my back (while messing about with the massively heavy snow blower,) leading to an even more dramatic slowdown of activity. Things seem to be a bit better today, so prior to my usual Monday grocery run, I will try to do something low-key and brief; perhaps 15 minutes walking on the treadmill.

When the weather was nice, I used to get out for a stroll around the neighborhood each morning, after putting the kiddo on the bus. Somehow, with the encroachment of midwestern bluster (and ice and snow,) that good habit has escaped me.

I need to get it back

********
Post script: back is KILLING me again after walking the dogs. Treatment will be a heating pad and max expenditure of energy limited to food shopping, laundry, cooking, and going to mass (Holy Day of obligation today: Immaculate Conception of Mary.)

Tomorrow, my family will forgo its usual leisurely Saturday breakfast (apple pancakes, bacon or sausage, juice and coffee, lovingly preapered by Dad) and instead chug some coffee and nosh on granola bars or a bowl of cereal before dashing off to my daughter*s first karate test. She has been a white belt since last fall. She skipped summer classes because of other activities - like hanging out in Wisconsin at the cabin.

She claims to have been practicing her KARA - the 21 moves in sequence that she needs to perform to get stripes or move up a belt level. I hope she at least gets some stripes- not because I am some sort of stage-mom, but because I want her to keep up with some sort of physical activity. No one in our family plays a *sport* (although in summer we do like outdoor things like fishing, hiking, boating, swimming, etc.) For that matter, no one even regularly WATCHES a sport, except me during college football season or during MLB or NHL playoffs.

Besides the great workout she gets, I have noticed an improvement in her social skills with peers, which is something she has struggled with for awhile. She even has a *best friend* now - a girl in her class at school whom she bonded with last year in - yep, you guessed it - karate class.

I had to run to my local Wal-Mart today to pick up, among other items, 4 big bags of road salt for our super-slippery driveway. After packing the trunk of my car with my purchases, like any half-decent person, I wheeled the cart three car-lengths down to the cart corral.

As I got into the car to drive home, I saw a young woman put a bag into on the floor of their vehicle and then shove their cart into the next parking space over, and then she got into the passenger seat and shut her door. The cart corral WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THEIR TRUCK ON THE DRIVER SIDE! I can only imagine that she is the protoype of piggish, self-centered Wal-mart shopper who, en masse, killed an innocent clerk on Black Friday in NY.

I hope she gets coal in her stocking this year.

As it turned out, I am quite glad I saw the specialist my Gyne recommended. He was really wonderful - smart, sweet, great listening and detective skills.

He talked with me for awhile, then gave me an exam and ultrasound. Then we talked some more.

He explained that with my presenting symptoms plus my history, he suspects that adenomyosis is the culprit - not just the fibroid & polyp. The only way to truly diagnose AND treat adenomyosis is (drumroll please): Hysterectomy! Yay!

I am such a kook to say *yay* about upcoming surgery, but his words echoed what I have been saying all along: I have been suffering all these months, and have tried various treatments and had every test/procedure out there and still no resolution. He told me: You have suffered with this long enough. Things should improve for you once this is taken care of for good.

He took the time to write out all the options I have to treat this, including the various types of hysterectomies plus the option of ablation instead of removal (in case I changed my mind and wanted to keep my uterus.)

He also agreed that with my hystery (see, I am making jokes now) of painful cysts on my left side, that we could go ahead and remove left ovary and tube, leaving the right one for some hormonal protection for me. He also agreed that I would be a great candidate for a laproscopic hyster, as opposed to other types. I proposed this and he seemed impressed that I knew about the 3 types and the pros and cons of each.

The only downside to all of this is that I will need to make 1 pre-surgical visit, and two post-surgical visits all the way downtown, which will be time-consuming and expensive no matter if I take the train or drive each time.

And, of course the logistics of being downtown for surgery while someone maintains the home/kid/pets here in the burbs will be tricky.

But, no matter, I will be calling there this week to begin scheduling procedures to happen sometime in January.