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P h i l l y   E x p a t r i a t e






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I am an East Coast expatriate hiding out in the Midwest...

I am an urban gal living in the suburbs and occasionally hiding in the country

I am a yoga practitioner, fitness enthusiast, believer in the mind-body-spirit connection...

I am a mid-life "revert" to the Roman Catholic faith in which I was raised and which has become an enormous source of support, encouragement, inspiration, and joy in my life...

I am a mom, sister, daughter, and wife...

I am an explorer; adventurous and curious about the world and people around me...

I am educated in the formal sense but I gain insight through everyday living...

I created this blog at a time of great fear and apprehension in my life. I chose to sustain it because of the discoveries about myself and the world around me that it has revealed.



What you can expect to find here:
  • the documentation of a love-hate relationship with the greater Philadelphia area
  • reminiscing about the good-ole-days (the 80's!)
  • complaints about my various ailments and injuries, both real and imagined
  • pictures and stories of gardening, decorating, shopping, sewing
  • my love of irony
  • links to kooky news stories
  • way too much scatological musing for sane people


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    Saturday, December 04, 2004
    So I was sitting around one day...

    ...and decided to compile another list of useless factoids about myself. Whoopee! Ooh, and in this one I drop lotsa names.

    Yet 100 More…

    1. I am married to someone who is colorblind
    2. My favorite color is mineral green
    3. I collect transferware plates and toleware trays
    4. My general clothing size is "petite medium"
    5. I have been hospitalized twice in the past 5 years for unscheduled "emergency" surgeries
    6. My husband was nearly killed by an exploding milk bottle
    7. It took weeks and quite a few bottles of hydrogen peroxide to clean up all of his splattered blood from that accident. Ick.
    8. I make nerdily annoying Sienfeld references in everyday conversation: Not that there's anything wrong with that.
    9. Despite a jaded past life in the world of indie rock, certain Celine Dion songs make me cry
    10. Come to think of it, plenty of corny commercials make me weep, as well.
    11. As do hokey "happy" endings to Hollywood movies.
    12. Ah, I also cry at my town's 4th of July Parade.
    13. Despite my frequent teary-eyed state, I am a really nauseatingly upbeat person.
    14. Thus, frequent use of exclamation points! and Smiley Faces J in my writing.
    15. Sometimes wearing earrings gives me a headache. Maybe it’s a pressure-point thing…
    16. Necklaces of all lengths and materials also give me headaches
    17. I still own and USE an embarassing yet utilitarian collection of ponytail scrunchies
    18. If you haven't noticed by now, I am a pretty sh*tty typist.
    19. My other excuse for my embarrassing typos scattered throughout blog-land is an overused, gunked up keyboard.
    20. Yet more evidence that I'm a nerd: I love Trivial Pursuit.
    21. The only makeup items I wear EVERY day are eyebrow pencil and lipgloss.
    22. I have oily skin and use high glycolic acid content facial products to remedy this
    23. My facial/skincare products are among the few "premium" items I buy for myself.
    24. Most everything else is secondhand, generic, dollar-store…
    25. All of the recent "hype" about red and blue America has goaded me to reacquaint myself with my religious/spiritual self
    26. I consider myself a Catholic in the Fransicsan Way/method of prayer, but as far as non-Faith issues are concerned I really would consider myself more Unitarian.
    27. Despite my religious persuasion, I rarely feel guilt. About anything.
    28. I overuse hyphens, ellipses, parentheses and semicolons.
    29. Since I am freckle-faced, I am asked, quite often, "Do you have any Irish in you?"
    30. To which I always offer my favorite cliché, "Only my husband!"
    31. When I am awake, my feet are always cold no matter what socks or slippers I am wearing
    32. But I cannot stand wearing socks to bed.
    33. Nor long nightgowns or pj pants
    34. I prefer cotton shorts and a tank top, as unsexy as that is, as my nocturnal apparel
    35. My husband usurped my terry cloth monogrammed bathrobe years ago
    36. I think I am the only housewife in America without a bathrobe…
    37. So upon arising, I usually throw on sweatpants and a sweatshirt for warmth and "coverage"
    38. I never aspired to be a "mom"…
    39. …but I have found that I enjoy it and I'm pretty good at it.
    40. I adore most things "leopard print"
    41. Since getting our dog last year, my relationship with my husband has improved markedly; we think she adds a calming influence to the family dynamic.
    42. I play some sort of card game (freecell, solitaire, etc.) on my palm pilot every night in bed. It makes me sleepy.
    43. If my husband doesn’t get to me before the palm pilot is in my hands, he's lost his chance for the evening.
    44. I don't wear a wedding ring but my husband does.
    45. My first crush, at age 2 ½, was "Jimmy" from H.R. Puffenstuff.
    46. My second notable crush, at age 4, was Donny Osmond. I had 4 of his albums.
    47. And then cupid struck me at age 6 while viewing re-runs of The Monkees – I fell hard for Mickey Dolenz.
    48. First teenage crush was Nick "I wear way more makeup than you" Rhodes of Duran Duran fame
    49. I have a hard-to-fit bra size: 37 almost-B (I have been measured by professional fitters 3 times in the past year.) I usually wear 38's on the tightest setting, but even then it's not a perfect fit.
    50. Merely 5 years ago I was a 44DD!!!
    51. I love having small breasts. FREEDOM!
    52. Even though I have been triathloning for 2 years now, I only recently learned to run correctly, comfortably, at a sustainable pace.
    53. Even though I have been triathloning for 2 years now, I still ride a 15-year-old Schwinn mountain bike with upright touring handles!
    54. Lack of proper racing bike makes me a total FRED (nerd) in the tri-pack.
    55. I personally don't give a rat's bum about what the elite racers think of my entry-level stylin'
    56. I have had the opportunity to meet, hang out with, or at least come within 25 feet of a number of "famous" people. Not that it made much impact on my life; it's just good cocktail party fodder:
    57. Jason Bateman
    58. Andy Williams
    59. Jimmy Kimmel
    60. Bill Curtis
    61. Michael York
    62. Jerry Ryan
    63. Alan Ruck
    64. Jello Biafra
    65. Alan Ginsberg
    66. Kurt Cobain
    67. Courtney Love
    68. Dave Grohl
    69. Rob Lowe
    70. Gloria Steinem
    71. Billy Corigan
    72. Nash Kato and the UO gang
    73. Chris Cornell
    74. Bill Gates
    75. Tony Kucoc
    76. Della Reese
    77. Jerry Springer
    78. Lots of various 90's "grunge" band figures
    79. All the guys in Einsturzende Neubauten
    80. Jim Ellison
    81. Liz Phair
    82. There are more "obscure" sightings/encounters that I won't list here. It's a small world!
    83. I used to collect vintage lingerie and corsets but my collection is now languishing in my attic
    84. When I was collecting, my most sought-after items were black Contessa Di Roma shapewear (girdles, long line bras) from the 1960's.
    85. I also used to collect boots (vintage) and they are also now housed in the attic.
    86. I played bass in a band in college and I was absolutely AWFUL…
    87. …But the drummer was even WORSE!
    88. The band was called Thee Vermillionaires
    89. The guys in the band wrote some insane song about "Captain Kirk"
    90. It was supposed to be amusing and kitschy; it was merely embarrassing.
    91. I was once a judge at the now-infamous Chicago Poetry Slam.
    92. I used to have a huge problem with shopping and managing money.
    93. At one time I had 32 credit cards!
    94. Now, I am on a tight budget and LOVE the structure and effectiveness of it.
    95. And have only ONE credit card.
    96. Which is paid off every month
    97. Second only to our mortgage payment is my grad school student loan payment
    98. Getting "flamed" in posts or in chat actually hurts my feelings and raises my blood pressure
    99. I survive my low carb lifestyle with the aid of Pure Delight Dark Chocolate bars (sugar free, natch)
    100. My singular monthly high carb splurge is a Chocolate Cream Puff (chocolate "buttermilk-style" donut with frothy vanilla crème filling) from Palatine's own "Spunky Dunkers"

    Posted at 06:51 am by brandy101
    Comments (17)  

    Friday, December 03, 2004
    ...And The Holiday Drama Begins

    I'll keep this tidbit of wierdness in my life brief because my head is still swimming from everything that has transpired so far.

    Last night we got a call from my sister-in-law in Kansas. She wished to speak to my husband and wouldn't tell me what was going on. This is not unexpected, in that she and I don't really have much of a relationship, or at least, not one in which we'd be comfortable spilling our guts to one another.

    I was assuming that her husband (hubby's brother) was hospitalized or worse. I have written about him before; he is currently on the wagon due to liver disease from years of booze and food abuse.

    So here's what went down: apparently her husband, "G," was talking on the phone to his dad (the alcoholic) and became concerned enough about his present state that he was moved by ...adrenalin, emotion, "the spirit"...I really don't know what...but early yesterday morning he packed a bag and jumped in his car and began to haul ass on the highway up to Chicago, his intent to convince Dad to get into rehab. Without telling his wife of his plans. Or calling us, either.

    So, my hubby calmly phoned his bro' on his cell phone, and was able to persuade him to come to our house first and spend the night, since Dad would likely be in no shape to talk at midnight. He also convinced him to call his WIFE and let her know that he was ok. I have to say my husband handled things so well, it was amazing. He was on the phone with G and sister-in-law calming them both down and making the situation more safe, sane and logical.
    When G arrived here last night I fixed him a snack and we talked with him awhile. He looked terrible, but I suppose liver disease doesn't exactly promote a "hi-pro glow".

    Apparently, he hustled over to his Dad's place first thing in the morning. He called me at about 10 am stating that he was able to talk to Dad in person but after an hour and a half of stonewalling, no progress was made. So he drove back over here and jumped in his car and drove back to Kansas
    I am mostly posting this for future reference as I am certainly expecting more drama to unfold as the weeks tick by. Hubby and I have written Dad off as lost to us unless some incredible force turns things around. He ditched us on Thanksgiving (he was drunk, natch) and after some emotional discussion, we washed our hands of the toxic situation. We have had enough struggles to arrive at the place of loving calm and peace in our own little household that we do not need it torn apart by others who choose to take us for granted.  

    Yech.

    Posted at 12:32 pm by brandy101
    Comments (10)  

    Thursday, December 02, 2004
    How Do These Advertising Guys Keep Their Jobs?

    I received an email from this company directing me to check out their latest "promotional character". (ok to view at work because its "intent" is vanilla and its a mainstream company.)

    Uh, is it just me or is this WIERD?!?!?!?!?! The SMOOTHENATOR?!?!?!?


    He reminds me of "The Ambiguously Gay Duo" from Saturday Night Live...but what's worse, this guy is packing HAND LOTION!!!!!!

    I mean, why not just call him "Captain Masturbator"?!?!?!?

    And, hooray, he's appearring soon at a mall near me! MMM, just what I want -some muscle-bound guy in tights and a mask smearing lotion on me?!? Well...now that I think about it... ;)

    Update: go to the website (link above) and after the comic plays, go to the "fan club" link - there you can clink on a link to send "Smoothenator" e-cards to all of your friends! TOO funny!

     

    Posted at 12:31 pm by brandy101
    Comments (8)  

    This Pun We Hold To Be Self-Evident...

    Each morning when I arise, I sit up in bed and flip on my local NBC station to get the weather report, hear local news...and each day I'm treated to a little snicker when the morning news anchor (below) states,

    Dick Johnson


    "That's the news, I'm Dick Johnson."

    Posted at 10:27 am by brandy101
    Comments (6)  

    Wednesday, December 01, 2004
    You learn something new everyday...

    Last night I watched a special produced by our local PBS station on, my favorite topic, local geography and history. This presentation focussed on none other than my beloved Nothwest Suburbs.

    I will admit I was slightly dispapointed at not learning much new about the area, and the producers didn't turn up much in the way of "quirky" trivia, either. However, I was left with one tidbit of information that made my brain ache all night long.

    I learned that in 1837, the US invaded...CANADA. As an apparent nod to sympathize with French-Canadian settlers, the US provided a small force that invaded Canada to help the French-Canadians fight the then-British-controlled colony.

    What boggled my mind was that this American military action was termed The Patriot's War.

    Wow. Who would have thought that the French would ever drag the US into something that was none of our business? I don't mean to be flip about such a topic, but I have to admit, it is a shocking factoid to wrap my mind around.

    You can read more about it here on a website that is curiously named "globalsecurity.org." Hmmm....

    Bush is up North for a visit right now; I wonder if HE even knows about this little bit of US/Canadian history? Hmmm.  The guy doesn't seem to remember the Geneva Convention, so I doubt he's ever heard about this little doozy from the past. ;)

    Posted at 12:57 am by brandy101
    Comments (11)  

    Tuesday, November 30, 2004
    Pass the Lysol...and the Ethanol

    My hubby is sick - bronchitis or some similar evil chest/throat/cough-inducing thing. He's at the doc now, and fter I get offline I'm wiping down every handle, doorknob, and nonporous surface AGAIN in antibacterial spray.

    On another note...

    I had a really wierd dream last night; in it deceased U.S. Senator Paul Simon was talking to me-  bow tie and all - giving me some sort homespun "advice" although now I have no idea what the specifics were! Argh! I mean, how many people get nocturnal visits from dead U.S. statesmen?!?!?

    I hope it was nothing too important, like how I can save the world from strife or end poverty and disease. I am guessing he was telling me not to feel too badly about driving my internal combustion engine vehicle, since the gas it uses contains ethanol and thus helps the economy of my downstate Illinoisans. Yeah. That's the ticket.

    Posted at 10:59 am by brandy101
    Comments (4)  

    Sunday, November 28, 2004
    Passing

    Chicago artist and teacher Ed Paschke passed away this weekend. Apparently, he died in his sleep on Thanksgiving.

    While I was never a huge fan of his imagery and style, I always admired him as a person and teacher because he did so much to help young artists in the area. He was also a professor of art at my alma mater.

    Anyone who drove the southbound Kennedy expressway a few years ago may recall the Bigsby & Kruthers mural near bucktown which had Paschke posed next to none other than Michael Jordan...that pretty much sums up his level of influence and value to the Chicago art community. I am certain his presence will be greatly missed.

    Posted at 10:35 am by brandy101
    Comments (5)  

    Saturday, November 27, 2004
    Supplement news

    I had to post again after re-reading my rather gushy (albeit totally sincere) hometown post. Lest you envision me as some rosy-cheeked, perm-haired Mommy in an appliqued holiday sweater, I can assure you that I was donned in my usual pseudo-Urban-boho finery, black microfiber messenger bag in full effect. (And I posted a pic in my profile for proof!)

    Anyway...

    Yesterday I noted to my husband that my hair has been falling out a bit more heavily than normal. Yes, we all lose a few hairs everyday, but this has been more noticable. I am attuned to hair loss after experiencing devastating alopecia, which was an apparent reaction to birth control pills years ago.

    Its not as bad as "back when" but I am monitoring it. On the upside, my skin has been GREAT, I am sleeping easily, and virtually all other symptoms of peri-menopause have diminished. Most apparent to my husband, of course, is my revved-up libido which had been running on empty for a few months. I mean, it's REALLY back. High heels and all!  Activities that would make Jack Ryan blush! Well, I'll spare you all any further details, lest that PAM-coated turkey you've gorged on for the last few days becomes ill-digested, but you get the general idea.

    I am noting this because on another user's blog, I had reported positive outcome from using a black cohosh and soy-based supplement. While I don't dispute the positives that they brought to my hormonal table, I neglected to mention that I had been simultaneously taking (and still take) one tablet of DHEA each morning, as well. When I went to my local Walgreen's to purchase SOMETHING to alleviate the aforementioned bothersome symptoms, the DHEA was positioned in the section with the other "change of life" products.

    Years ago, I took DHEA but got bad skin breakouts, and thus discontinued usage. I have read that DHEA can, for some women, raise estrogen levels, and I think it has done this for me, thus the mostly positive outcome, minus the hair loss setback. However, I have also read research that concludes that this supplement is no more than a bogus "snake oil" cure.

    I am still taking it and so far, so gooooooooood. It certainly is inexpensive enough (I am using the version by Natrol, with a purple label) so if you or a lady in your life needs a "boost" then perhaps it's worth a gamble.

    Posted at 02:03 pm by brandy101
    Comments (5)  

    Why I Live Here...

    (warning: the following post is likely the most treacly entry to date. diabetics beware!)


    From the title of my blog, there is an implied melancholy, the feeling of geographically-detached identity crisis.

    But yet again, my little "Village" that I now call home has reminded me why I live here.

    This morning my family and I woke up bright and early, gobbled down a quick breakfast and sped to the "downtown" part of the neighborhood to the local movie theatre. This morning was "Movie With the Mayor and Santa" - a free event for the family (you were asked to donate a non-perishable food item for a local food pantry or a new, unwrapped toy, as your admission.) Our mayor cheerfully greeted each entrant and collected the donated items. As my daughter sheepishly handed over a heavy bag of canned goods, the Mayor bent down and said to her, "This is so nice of you to help people who might be hungry and need food to eat."

    Inside the lobby, Jolly Old St. Nick sat on a black leather loveseat (!) and talked to children while digital cameras snapped left and right.

    Once inside the theatre, before the screening of "Elf" (which I can now heartily recommend!) each child was given a raffle ticket, and they did a drawing for a huge vareity of toys purchased and donated by local businesses. My daughter won a prize and she selected a large Snow White "Pillow Buddy".

    Then the Mayor came in and welcomed everyone, and introduced Santa who said a few words, and then on with the show.

    I made sure to thank the Mayor for her efforts in putting this event together; she replied, "Thank you for coming out. I'm so glad you and you family are enjoying it."

    Upon exiting the show, everyone got a candy cane.

    I am continually blown away with the enormous sense of community in this "little" town (population 76,000!) This community caring and pride is the reason I literally weep at our town's 4th of July parade, grin widely when we visit our library "Bookmobile," brag to family and friends about our local park activities, and, in turn,  make an effort to do most of my shopping at local businesses.

    As a former urbanite, I am thrilled that we didn't end up in a soul-less cookie-cutter sprawl of suburbia but rather, in a town with clear sense of identity and heart.

    As Dorothy Gale once said, "There's No Place Like Home."

    I am more than inclined to agree.

    Posted at 12:24 pm by brandy101
    Comments (3)  

    Wednesday, November 24, 2004
    Cranberry Sauce

    Hey, I nearly forgot to share my personally created recipe for low-carb/low-calorie cranberry sauce.

    I love the way the sweet/tart cranberry sauce accompanies creamy, salty gravies and meats (mmmmmmm...GRAVY!) but I nearly gave it up considering that the quantity I typically consume has more calories and carb grams than many desserts!

    I don't care for the "whole berry" kind of "relish"; I only enjoy the smooth pulp-free, gelatinous goodness of the can-shapped jelly. Thus I developed this recipe in my own kitchen. It's pretty darn good (albeit TART!) and makes ALOT - so you can halve the recipe if you have a smaller crowd.

    Low-Carb/Low Cal Cranberry Jelly

    1 bag (approx 12oz.) whole cranberries
    3/4 C. Splenda sugar substitute
    4 boxes Jello brand sugar-free jello - cranberry flavor
    3 C. boiling water
    1C. cold water

    Apparatus needed: blender or food processor, fine mesh strainer, saucepan, pyrex/heatproof bowl, measuring cups, large container with lid (for finished product) or Jello mould.

    • Rinse whole berries and place in a saucepan. Add just enough water to cover them.
    • Add Splenda sweetener. Stir and bring to a boil. Boil until all skins pop (about 1-2 minutes.)
    • Remove saucepan from heat and allow to coool slightly.
    • Add all contents of saucepan, including the "juice" (after cooled) to blender or food processor and puree.
    • Pour contents of puree into mesh strainer and strain the berry puree into the large container or Jello mould.
    • In saucepan or pyrex bowl, add the contents of the Jello boxes. Add 3 C. boiling water and stir completely to dissolve all of the Jello. Then add 1 C. cold water. Stir completely. Allow to set for a few minutes.
    • Add Jello to strained berry puree in large container and stir well.
    • Place container in refrigerator until it is fully set (at least an hour).
    Note: after straining the berry puree, you may want to skim any foam (!) off the top with a large spoon so that the finished product will be smooth and translucent.



    Posted at 12:02 pm by brandy101
    Comments (4)  

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