I just got back from evening one of our three-night "parish mission." I have no idea when these pasty-white-suburban versions of old timey-Southern Revivals came into play in American Catholic parishes, but they certainly weren't popular back in my childhood. After my experience, I can tell you they aren't popular in my ADULTHOOD either!

I almost didn't attend because we got a "sneak preview" last night at Mass as the hired duo - a Dominican priest and  nun - made presentations in place of the homily. She seemed thoughtful and somewhat interesting. And, in typical (and ever-disappointing) fashion, the woman with something to say played second fiddle to the guy with the bigger mouth and the Holy Orders.

He was annoying off the bat: loud, sing-songy and over-simplified. He was a fairly typical example of a "GEC." GEC is an acronym I created while witnessing the pious and utterly gooberific machinations of a young woman in the pew behind me at a bible study seminar a few years ago.

In my faith, it is traditional to show respect for the blessed Eucharist in the tabernacle by genuflecting (sort of like a curtsey or bow) before entering the pew. This gal decided to go all out and kneel on the floor and then proceed to do some kind of bizarre genuflection yoga - holding her arms out straight in front of her and undulating her back as if she were doing a cross between The Worm and an Islamic call to prayer. It was ludicrous!

As the course continued, she kept talking OUT LOUD, much to everyone's annoyance, to prove that she knew the various prophets, Saints, and others that the presentor cited as he offered an assortment of quotations. After her ignorance of my perturbed glances, I began journaling about her furiously in the notes I was taking. Why not? She kept distracting me from the speaker that I PAID to hear, so I might as well record the show she foisted upon me and my fellow attendees.

At the top of my page, I began scribbling and it came to me: Googly-Eyed Christian!  So, what is a GEC?

A GEC is:

• unsophisticated, but they THINK they are quite wordly and experienced
• often overly-pious: sit int he front pews, loudest singers, excessive litugical gesturing, closed-eyes and swaying to favorite hymns
  
• inconsiderate and/or ignorant  of the nuances and differences in individual personalities, preferences, and life experiences of others
• instead of using their God-given brains and "talents" toward the articulation of specific goals, and concrete methods to achieve those goals (whether spiritual or other), they rely on cliches like "Let Go; Let God" or "God will take care of it."
• If in doubt, if you consider yourself somewhat "religious" "spiritual" or just respectful of other faiths, something about this person will just make you gag, and probably lose respect for their faith system.
  

There are plenty more examples of GEC-isms that I'm sure I'll just have to share in the future. I genuinely dislike dissing other people - ESPECIALLY "church people." But in the case of the GEC, I get so distracted by their spiritual and intellectual LAZINESS and goober-isms that it hampers the efforts I'm making when trying to help grow myself and others my parish community.

So...enough ranting...back to tonight.

As it turns out the "guy" is a published musician/hymn author so he insisted on squeezing no less than eight hymns into a 90 minute presentation. At least two of the stories offered in his "preaching" were OLD jokes/tales that have been circulating around sermons for many years. Worst of all, when he sung, he'd affect this faux-baritone that reminded me of David Sedaris-as-Billie Holliday! I kept biting my lip in the pew!

But then Sister spoke. Both times she offered some original (and SPECIFIC) nuggets of wisdom on SPECIFIC topics.  I felt cheated that she only spoke twice for what seemed like 5 minutes at a time.

I saw two friends of mine across the aisle who wisely sat near a side exit. They ducked out 10 minutes early. I was in clear eyeshot of our Pastor and Associate Pastor so I stayed glued in my pew until I thought a reasonable exit could be made.

I was feeling a bit sad that this experience was not more positive. With the opening strains of the closing hymn, I made a beeline for the door. Another woman that I had never seen before was exiting at the same time. We somehow caught each other's eye. Something stirred in me to say something to her. But she beat me to it:

"ENOUGH of the singing already," she exclaimed as we entered the parking lot.

I concurred, "I liked Sister, but I could have done without Guy Lombardo!"

She laughed so hard I thought she'd fall on the ice! We wished each other well and went home our separate ways. And then it hit me that maybe my "mission" was to cheer up and bond with a stranger tonight, albeit, over our shared dissatisfaction. As the GEC's say, "The Lord works in mysterious ways."

Today I made one of my favorite Lenten (ie - vegetarian for abstinance days) Recpies for Creamy Roasted Red Pepper Soup. I created this myself by experimenting with ingredients until I got a result that my family - including my non-soup-loving husband - really enjoys. You can serve it as a meal with some sprinkled croutons & parmesan on top, or pair it with a gourmet grilled cheese sandwich - I recommend French Emmenthal on Italian or Sourdough bread. It also pairs nicely with Pino Grigio or similar white wines.

Enjoy!

Creamy Roasted Red Pepper Soup - VEGETARIAN

 3 tbs butter, divided

½ cup diced onion (about 1 small onion – yellow or white)

1 clove garlic, minced

1 jar (12 ounce size) roasted red peppers, drained, rinsed, any seeds removed.

¼ C. all purpose flour OR 1/8 C. Wondra

1 can (12 oz.) evaporated milk (can use fat-free evaporated milk if needed)

1 can (14 ½ oz.) vegetable  broth * 

½ tsp. Garlic Salt

¼ tsp. Ground black pepper

 
Directions:

1. Melt 2 tbs of butter in medium saucepan over medium heat.
2. Sautee onion and garlic until softened. Remove from heat.
3. Place cooked onion and garlic along with red peppers in blender or food processor. Puree until smooth (add a bit of the vegetable broth if needed to puree it)
4. Melt remaining butter in saucepan and add flour or Wondra to make rue.
5. Gradually stir in evaporated milk and vegetable broth into the rue, stirring constantly to combine it and remove lumps. Bring mixture to a boil.
6. Add red pepper puree, season with Garlic salt and pepper and heat through.

EVIL spelled backwards is LIVE.

Huh. The things you learn playing Boggle...


[On another note, I had no idea Blogdrive was going to begin adding weird and often irrelevant ads-by-Google to the bottom of each blog entry! Sorry. I'm too cheap to buy a subscription so I guess I have to give in to the terms of the server-wielders.]

If you are out and about and see someone with a big smudge on their forehead, don't offer them a tissue! Today is Ash Wednesday - a special day of prayer and fasting for certain Christan sects that ushers in the season of Lent. Today at Mass, the portion of the above cited reading that was emphasized in the homily was "all your heart" (also translated as "your whole heart.")

I like the idea of approaching the relative newness (and thus, abundance of opportunity) of this year with full capacity of sentiment, emotion, effort, and thought.

Ok, THAT quasi-piety out of the way, I can now comment on the part of this reading that always makes me snicker:


Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that I am very exacting and deliberate with my choices of  clothing, accessories and such. It took me a LONG time to really develop  a sense of purposefullness in my personal style; and I'm not talking about "fashion" per se. Rather, I used to be a bargain hound who focused on labels and pricetags and relative value.  I used to have all sorts of mismatched and rarely-worn garments and accessories (shoes, bags, etc.) in my closet and streaming out of my dresser,  which have finally ended up in a donation pile for a local thrift store. Instead of quantity, I have honed in on quality and fit as the top qualifiers for my personal  purchase-ability. So this year, I am continuing with my trend of watchfulness and waiting - not choosing on the spot because of an incredible markdown. 

I am also beginning to choose items that may be FULL PRICE but that I feel will fill a very practical (yet fabulous) niche in my wardrobe. So I am not just using my WHOLE HEART to shop anymore - also my whole WALLET!

I love my new site meter.

I get to read about visits to my blog where people FOUND discussions of Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, Boggle, and other good ole'-fashioned manners of time-wasting, instead of what they were SEARCHING FOR:

"sex games wild girls and boys different games"

I'm going to load up dear old Philly Expatriate with some really juicy terms and see who stops by for a visit (and more interesting - WHAT they are looking for!)

So don't be ANAL; COME often, look HARD, and read all about the NAKED truths of life with my family and pets, including my lovely BLACK PUSSY. Oh, and I also have some SLIMY snails and PINK, WIGGLY fish who live in the WET, WET pond. Oh, yeah, they are REALLY WET.

As further testimony to my true nerdiness, (as if anyone needed MORE proof) the last night the hubby and I played Trivial Pursuit: The 90's Time Capsule Edition.

I landed on a brown space which signifies "video/tv/film" in this version. Hubby asked the question:

"What motion picture director appeared in a Benneton ad and decried AIDS as a government conspiracy?"

Instantly, I thought of some of the more "hip" and fashionable directors of the 90's. Jim Jarmusch? Gus Van Zandt? Finally I offered my feeble-minded response:

"Michael Moore?"

Hubby replied with his usual zinginess, "Uh, I can't see Michael Moore in a Benneton ad. Now maybe a Bene-TON, ad..."

Whah-whah-whahhhhhhh...

(btw, the correct answer was "Spike Lee")

Our household will be enjoying palm-burning, throat-blessing and dessert-tasting on Sunday...and, no that has nothing to do with Superbowl party plans!

In an unusual confluence of dates, Ash Wednesday occurs next Wednesday, the 6th. Thus, we are to return our blessed palms from last year's Palm Sunday to church this week, where they will be burned and blessed for the ashes for Wednesday's ceremony.

Because people are usually so busy during the week, there is also a bake sale Sunday  with assorted homemade goodies, so we can "fatten up" in a tamer version of a Mardi Gras celebration. And finally, Sunday Feb. 3rd is ALSO St. Blaise Day which means that AFTER Mass there will be ANOTHER ceremony for the traditional blessing of the throats. The gist of the legend is that St. Blaise saved someone who was choking on a fish bone.

So, I'm wondering, if I have my throat blessed prior to ingesting grand quantities of dessert, does that mean all those goodies are calorie-free that day? I also have to fear many tasteless (but, of course, funny) innunedos from my husband having to do with throats and bones and...oh you get the idea!

... you go downstairs to check on her, and find her 8-year-old-bucket parked in what resembles a makeshift coffin (with pillows & blankets for comfort!) while watching a dvd of classic Frankenstein.

Hmm, I should bring home "stale coffee" more often...wonder what would happen if it weren't "free trade" and "organic" as well...



...and is it me, or does her "husband" have a hugely WIDE arse?

A few weeks ago, I was cajoled into ordering a Sunday-only home delivery subscription to the Chicago Tribune while innocently browsing the fine produce at my local supermarket. To be honest, I kept staring that the salesman's beautiful pale-blue cashmere sweater (the quality of it was like nothing I had even seen on a man!) and thus somehow ended up signing away a precious $12.95 a month for the convenience of a driveway-dropoff of a pile of paper & ink.

This morning, I actually looked forward to perusing the paper while sipping coffee. I first browsed the coupons and then hit the usual suspects: front page, Home & Garden, Metro, Tribune magazine and...the Book Section...uh, where was the book section? I rifled through the pile twice more and still couldn't find it. Before cursing my distributor, I did a quick Google search and learned that sometime ago the Trib did away with the Book Section in its Sunday edition, offering a pared-down version of it, tabloid style, in the SATURDAY paper -likely the LEAST-READ edition they print.

WTF?!

I don't understand how PRINT MEDIA decides to eliminate news of PRINT MEDIA...but yet, retain the utterly inane "Q" section: this week's highlights in Q includes a discussion of Lindsay Lohan and the trend of wearing knee socks with tall boots. Oh, and despite prodcing their own magazine, they also include a copy of low-brow "Parade" magazine. [sidebar: I can't help but giggle, thinking of Stewie Griffin reprimanding his future self in disgust: "You read Parade?!?!"]

Except for the value I do find in Metro (local news, obituaries, etc.) I may delete this subscription and go for the New York Times instead.