I've always thought those t-shirts and bumper stickers with the quote "Lord, Help me keep my heart open and my mouth shut!" were hopelessly corny. Now I am suspecting there is a hint of brilliance amidst those words.

I am a "newbie" to my Parish and as I've blogged about previously, I joined up to volunteer on crew for the spring show. While I've really been enjoying the sewing projects, I inadvertently got dragged into some uncessary drama, and the words that were solicited from me to help another person make their "case" about a specific musical number are coming back to bite me in the ass. I really had no opinion (sh*t, man, it ain't Broadway - its a fun little show in a church basement!) about the number but a lady I'm friendly with was concerned enough about it to ask me if I felt the adult's "gestures" to the song were "too much". Well, after she put it like that I considered that, yes, perhaps the frenetic pace of the adult motions overshadowed the gestures of the children. She then related this to the friend of the director. And today the director sent out an email in defense of his choice of staging and noting anyone to "come directly to him with any concerns."

Crap.

I called and left a voicemail for the lady who culled the words out of me, and I hope to bring an end to this drama here and now. She is a nice person and I want to be supportive of her. However I will make it clear that I am going back to having no opinion  and standing firm on that. I will tell her that I appreciate her soliciting my advice but that I just honestly don't want to rock the boat, especially being a newcomer.

See, this I why I got OUT of the costuming scene back in my college days - too much damn drama! Sheesh.

I'm also getting nervous, to the point of being sick to my stomach, about this upcoming CRHP retreat. From what I have read, its a great way to "forge deep friendships with other women of the Parish." I'm thinking I don't want to be vulnerable and "open" with ANY women, especially not ones I'm going to run into in the neighborhood.

Post script - I just got my period. As IF it wasn't evident afer reading my PMS-induced rant! Geezuz-almighty, It's Xanax Time!

Post -POST script: My church pal called me tonight and assured me that in fact I was NOT the muckraker, but rather the words she dragged out of me (which in fact, she apoligized for:"Oh, I'm sorry, I made you say that! You weren't even involved with it!") had already been vebalized by other moms in the group. Oy vey. All this drama for a lil song 'n dance in the Church Basement!!!!!! Thankfully, after a good talk with Angie (the church pal) I feel alot better. Maybe even willing to TRY to have a real "friend". We shall see...