Besides dealing with the side-effects of The Ring (which, as Abby noted, is also the name of a series of horror movies) I have been very anxious about my Tuesday appointment downtown with a surgical/gynecological specialist, referred to me by my regular gyne.  It is to discuss the possibility of this myomectomy, which I have already determined via research is NOT going to fix my problems of ovarian cysts/tumors or birth control(sterilization.) i think most frustrating to me is that with this procedure, after 8 years, 27% of women who have it done, end up in surgery AGAIN to deal with more fibroids.

If I am going under the knife (and paying a hefty co-pay, to boot)  I want a blue-ribbon guarantee of a CURE. A final solution. No bullshit.

I want my wonky left ovary - source of much pain and suffering on and off for over 12 years - out for good.

I want my uterus and its delightful garden of tumors(fibroids) and polyps OUT. Especially since my grandmother died a horrible, tortuous death from - you guessed it - endometrial cancer.

I should count myself very fortunate that my gyne wants me to look into less invasive newer, high-tech options. I should also be grateful that he is humble enough to admit that he is not an expert in some of the newer techniques and it would be safer for me to see someone with no connection to his practice (ie - he makes no money from it) although they are colleagues via the university at which they both teach.

I SHOULD be thankful, but I am NOT. Instead, I am frustrated and impatient. I just want to go to my excellent local hospital and have a commonly-performed surgery. I have zero interest in something more *cutting edge* done miles from home in downtown Chicago. I dont even want to go through the cost and hassle of getting downtown to that appointment on Tuesday (it will easily cost me over $50 for transportation and co-pay) . I am on the verge of cancelling it, but I worry that perhaps I need that second opinion to get my current doc AND insurance company to comply with what *I* want to do.

To be honest, I was preoccupied with these issues all weekend, and did not have much fun (except when I was working on my beading projects.) I was so upset, first about the Ring issue, then about the Tuesday appointment, that I left a voicemail over the weekend for my gyne to call me on Monday. I hope I can speak in a calm, sane, non-anxious manner to him. He has not done anything wrong, per se. Its Mother Nature that done me wrong...